Finding Peace in the Midst of Fear

When we see, hear or say the word selfish instantly a negative connotation is applied. I want to clear the air by sharing the right reasons for being selfish. I learned early on that it’s important to be selfish from time to time because too often we compromise ourselves for the sake of respect, acceptance or for no reason at all for others. When I stopped saying yes to every invitation to go out I started to realize a few things. I was stretching myself too thin: this caused me to not fully enjoy experiences and this in turn reflected on my relationship with those individuals that I was hanging out with. I did not have enough time for the things I wanted to do/cared about: when I was in constant social mode I let my priorities fall to the waste sides. This again affected my relationship with those individuals I was spending so much time with because I would get into terrible moods and at times ruined the experience for others. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is NOT real: Just remember that those few times you don’t join an outing with your friend(s) does not mean you’re missing out. More than likely exactly what goes on then will happen again when you’re around. Actually it’ll probably be more fun when you’re around because lets face it, you’re the life of the party! So being selfish in the sense of caring about your needs first before satisfying an unnecessary want is crucial to keeping your boss girl status. Always remember being selfish is about respecting yourself, respecting your time and keeping a commitment to yourself.

At the start of her pregnancy with her now 10-month-old daughter, Marica Lowe was consumed by fear. She was so worried for her safety and that of her unborn baby that she holed up in her bedroom most days. She even skipped Mardi Gras, the vibrant but notoriously crowded festival that is normally the highlight of her year. But as spring began, and the streets filled with flowering trees, Lowe reconnected with what had lured her to move to New Orleans from her hometown of New York City two years earlier: nature. “The first time I visited New Orleans, I went on a walk, and I saw limes growing on the tree,” Lowe said. “Fruit doesn’t grow on trees in New York, so that really drew me here.” She organized a community “sensory walk” through Couturie Forest, a 60-acre nature preserve. The aim was for participants to take in the beauty of the natural environment by listening to birdsong, smelling fragrant plants, touching tree bark, and grounding themselves in the earth. As Healthbeat reports, it was the second trimester of her pregnancy, and something unexpected happened. As she led the group through the forest, she experienced a profound mental shift, feeling peaceful and centered. “I felt connected to nature. I felt protected. I felt more excited. I felt connected to my baby,” recalled Lowe, 39, who is now the wellness director at Dream House Lounge in New Orleans, a nonprofit organization committed to expanding access to mental and spiritual wellness services. “It just was life-giving.” Research increasingly shows that women who participate in nature-based activities have healthier pregnancies — information that is especially critical for Black women, who nationwide have a maternal mortality rate that is more than three times the rate for white women, according to the Policy Center for Maternal Mental Health. In New York City, the disparity is even greater: Black women face a ninefold higher risk of dying from pregnancy-related complications than white women — and research shows that more than 80% of these deaths are preventable. For Black women, though, getting out into nature can be a challenge. Decades of discriminatory housing policies and disinvestment have resulted in many Black women living in communities with limited access to parks and green spaces, walkable streets, vegetation, or shade trees. These inequalities don’t just degrade the quality of life in these neighborhoods, they contribute to physical and psychological health disparities that disproportionately affect Black women of childbearing age. In response, health advocacy groups and community-focused birth workers are creating opportunities for Black women to connect with nature, recognizing it as a vital tool in maternal health and wellness. “When a Black pregnant woman walks through a park or sits under a tree, she’s not just relaxing — she’s reclaiming a piece of her health and her power,” said Keturah Queen, recruitment specialist at GirlTREK, a national health justice movement that aims to combat systemic racism and extend Black people’s lives through nature walks for women. “Nature gives us a chance to reset.” Research shows link between green space and maternal health Queen, 40, joined GirlTREK in 2016, when her first child turned 1. Hoping to lose weight and connect with like-minded women, she began walking regularly and along the way, cultivated a deep love for nature. “When I got involved with GirlTREK, I started to plan nature walks,” Queen said. “And then I found myself being at such a place of calm, feeling stress-free and just loving to be under the skies, or just in the grass, barefoot walking — different things that brought me joy.” A 2023 study led by a multidisciplinary team of researchers from the University of California, Irvine, among other institutions, found a measurable link between green space and maternal mental health. Analyzing more than 415,000 singleton births in Southern California, researchers found that for every 10% increase in visible street-level greenery, the risk of postpartum depression dropped by more than 4%. One in eight women who have recently given birth experience symptoms of postpartum depression, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Black women are much more susceptible. Without treatment, the condition can affect a mother’s well-being, her ability to care for her baby, and even the child’s development, including sleep, feeding, and behavior. The health impacts of green space also extend to physical complications during pregnancy. Pregnant women residing in urban areas with sparse tree coverage face more than twice the risk of hypertensive disorders such as preeclampsia, a study by the March of Dimes Prematurity Research Center at the University of Pennsylvania found. Preeclampsia — a condition that typically develops after 20 weeks of pregnancy involves high blood pressure and can lead to organ damage — affects about 1 in 25 pregnancies, and Black women are more than 50% more likely than white women to develop it. The same study found that those living within 100 meters of areas with less than 10% tree canopy had more than twice the odds of developing complications related to hypertension — especially non-Hispanic Black women — compared to those living near green spaces with more than 30% tree cover. Black neighborhoods across the country have steadily lost trees over the years — a trend driven by environmental neglect, which closely ties to the legacy of housing discrimination. “People who are Black, people who have historically been marginalized, live in neighborhoods that continue to experience disinvestment and dispossession,” said Dr. Max Jordan Nguemeni, an assistant professor in general internal medicine and health services research at the David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles. In his latest research, Nguemeni is examining whether there is a direct link between tree canopy coverage and health outcomes before and after pregnancy in underserved Black neighborhoods. He and his team began by analyzing data from a tree-planting initiative in Philadelphia, where some predominantly Black neighborhoods received new trees and others with similar demographics did not. Nguemeni’s study aims to determine …

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an emotional breakdown because you’ve realized that life just isn’t going as you planned? Finding yourself in a downward spiral and wondering how you even ended up with the disgusting, nagging and unwarranted negative vibes? I am here to tell you that you’re not alone. Everyone goes through peaks and valley in life, it’s inevitable. Rest assured, this too shall pass and today I am going to share with you 5 simple ways to get your vibes in check. 1. Get outside. Especially if the sun is shining- take a walk, notice the breeze, and the vibrant colors God has made available to our senses. Place your feet in the grass, admire the movement of the clouds. Connect with nature. Nature has a way of humbling us. We can look at the provisions of the living things around us and be reminded that God too, will provide for our needs. 2. Play music that gives you life and dance. Listen to my current favorite vibes here. 3. Become grateful. Whether it’s through meditation, prayer or journaling. Find ways to identify what you are grateful for and express it outwardly. Showing gratitude is proven to shift your paradigm towards experiencing positivity. 4. Be mindful. This meltdown is a critical part of your journey. You will come through it stronger with better understanding and more wisdom. Seldom do we come out of a storm the same way we went in. It\’s in the turbulent times that we see change is needed and only then can we begin the work. We must learn to embrace the good and the ugly. It’s necessary in the carving and chiseling of our lives.  5. Talk to friends or family that will feed you loving vibes. Be careful not to push your bad vibes on them just come open to receive their love. You don\’t even have to tell them that you are crumbling (though they may sense it). Ask them how they would describe you to other people and How have you\’ve influenced or impacted their life. Chin up Buttercup. Know that you are loved and you are love. Comment below ways that you get your vibes in order.