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For Black Women By Black Women
For Black Women By Black Women
MIND & BODY

7 Boss Moves to Make to Kick Your Quarter Mid-Life Crisis

Sharice Bryant
18 Comments
7 Mins read
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Hey beauties! Are you turning, or have you already hit the ever so infamous age of the big 25? Ahh yes, the midpoint before the big 3-0. I think it’s safe to say that we all have had mixed feelings about turning 25 years old, whether we like to admit it or not.
I remember when I was 20 years old, how excited I was to be turning 21 soon. Not only would I officially be classified as an adult, and able to drink legally as I pleased, but I would also be four years away from 25! The age where you have all of your ducks lined and life would just be so fabulous.

I had everything planned out: I’d have my two degrees, a great salaried job in my industry, a real life boyfriend who was most likely my future husband, and great credit. Ask me how many of those things I have now that I’m 26, going on 27 in May. One. I do have my two degrees, but the rest, might’ve have been ordained for an older age, and you know what, that’s okay!

As women, it’s in our DNA to feel that we should always have IT together, whether that IT may be a good job, being in a loving relationship, having a great group of friends, a big, trendy wardrobe, cute shoes for any day of the week, a car, an education, the list goes on. One thing I’ve noticed about myself and a few other women my age is that we panic once we hit 25 if we don’t have everything we believe we’re supposed to have. Just like the mid-life crisis exists, so does the dreaded quarter-life crisis. Don’t panic beauties; I have a list that I think will help!

Have a Seat & Re-evaluate YOUR Life

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Have several seats girl! One of the many mistakes we do is we compare our journey to those around us. That’s not smart nor is it realistic. It’s easy to feel like you’re losing in life when you see your classmates or those from your hometown doing good for themselves in more than one aspect in their lives. I had a horrible habit of comparing my path to others. But I quickly learned that I have to first, pop a squat, really re-evaluate my life and where I want to end up, according to what has been ordained for ME and take the necessary steps to get to where I need to be.

In order to do this, you must first think about what isn’t going right in your life, and do your best to correct that. If you have to separate yourself from your group of friends that are only good for partying, in order to focus on your goals, then do that. If you believe you have to start approaching situations with a different attitude, so you can get a different outcome, then girl you better adopt the “good vibes only” idea and stick with it. Have a seat, really think about your life and what you desire in the future and immediately start to change your approach towards the things that matter the most to you.

Stop Flexing

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Flexing. Don’t do it for the ‘Gram, the Twitter, the Facebook, anything or anyone. Just don’t. I’ve noticed a pattern with women (and men) who are shy of, or have approached 25, and that pattern is creating the illusion to social media that you have everything or more than others. There’s nothing wrong with not having the world, nor do you have to pretend. Trust me, no one cares as much as you think, and no one will claim you’re a failure if you don’t the luxury car, the affordable yet posh apartment, sufficient funds in your bank account, the eye-catching arm candy by your side, or the dream job. You look more foolish when you try to show off or live beyond your means to prove a point to people who couldn’t care less. Rae Sremmurd said it best: No Flex Zone.

Create the Vision

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As I stated in my “7 Keys to Unlocking Your Authentic Self”  article, a vision without a plan, is merely a dream. Although this saying is true, we first must understand what the vision is and then make it visible, so that it drives us to make said vision come to life! Easy peezy lemon squeezy. What I, and many fellow beauties I’ve asked about this subject, have found to be successful is to create a vision board. Whether you go digital or make one the old fashioned way with a poster board plastered with magazine cut outs, create the vision. A vision board can consists of anything and even anyone (hehe) you desire and want to accomplish in life. I find it best to go ahead and make one the old fashioned way. This method is beneficial because the board is always in plain sight and a great motivator to do what I need to do that day, so that I’m one step closer to a specific cut out that has been glued to my poster. Create the vision and never lose sight of it!

Find Your Outlet

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We all need some sort of outlet to keep us from going insane. I remember when I turned 25; it probably was the worst birthday of my life. I was unemployed, therefore I couldn’t really celebrate the way I wanted at that time, people I considered friends actually forgot that it was my birthday, and there wasn’t any cake. I was in straight depression mode and honestly believed birthdays from then on out would be even worse than the last. However, I later realized that I had an outlet when the world made me feel small, and that outlet was exercise. Working out was and still is my own personal therapy. I escape the world and all of its troubles when I’m in the gym. Whatever you feel your outlet may be, embrace it. An outlet could be any activity that brings you inner peace and gets you out of your funk for the time being, especially when you feel like life is coming at you fast.

Plan Trips While You’re Young

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One of the biggest regrets I’ve heard older people say is that they regret not traveling more before they settled down and had a family. Traveling is one thing I don’t want to regret not doing more of when I reach a certain age. Yes, if you have better funds (and you most likely will) to travel when you’re older, more power to you, but there’s something about traveling when you’re young and free. Many travelers in their twenties and even early thirties, always admit that they found a piece of themselves they never knew existed when they travel, and discovering yourself is such a rewarding experience. Now, don’t think you have to book a flight to Paris tomorrow, but keep a list of at least four places you would like to visit in the near future and start saving little by little for the first adventure on that list. Be responsible and limit yourself to your typical luxuries, in order to save for your travels. You only live once, so live life with a little spice!

Say Yes to Everything

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Career wise, say yes to everything. I remember hearing an interview on the radio, where Ryan Seacrest was asked, how did he get to the successful point he’s currently at. His answer was simple: he said YES to everything. After hearing that, I thought back to all of the things I’ve seen Ryan Seacrest do dating back to the first season of American Idol. This guy was every. Where. You couldn’t escape seeing his face on television, even if you wanted to. Fast forward to today, and look up Ryan Seacrest’s resume. The list goes on.

Don’t be a pushover when it comes to saying yes as far as your career is concerned, but what I mean is, take advantage of every opportunity. Looking back on all of the opportunities I’ve passed up when it comes to my craft, I can kick myself for thinking that I was above certain jobs on a set, going to workshops or panel discussions from those in the entertainment business, or simply not networking like I should, and I’m only 26, so imagine yourself twenty years from now, regretting those moments in time where you never said yes. Every door leads to somewhere, so what do you have to lose? You may find you gain more when you take opportunity by the horns.

Let Go of the Fairytale

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There is no such thing as one specific fairytale in life, and that’s the double truth Ruth! Like I stated earlier, when I reached 25, I panicked and dubbed myself a failure because I didn’t have all of the things I believed I should have at that age. Your own happily ever after doesn’t magically come once the clock strikes midnight on your 25th birthday. You may not have your glass slippers set in your career just yet, but that doesn’t mean you never will. You may not be whipping the horse drawn carriage of your dream, but who’s to say you won’t ever get the keys later on? You may not be married and expecting/have kids, but life comes at you fast, so don’t beat your biological clock just yet. Paint your white picket fence red and ditch the by the book fairytale, because it’s your life and YOUR story.

Time to be the boss lady you’re destined to be and make those moves beauties. Your crisis doesn’t define you or your life. You got the juice and don’t let anyone ever tell you different.

Treat Yo’ Self Girl and Stay Beautiful!

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18 Comments
  1. Love-Gold

    February 10, 2016 7:48 pm

    so much motivation here!! thank you!!

    1. Sharice B

      February 14, 2016 8:42 am

      yassss glad you liked it dear! Keep pushing and stay beautiful!

  2. Erica

    February 10, 2016 10:05 pm

    Great Article!

    1. Sharice B

      February 14, 2016 8:43 am

      Thank you Erica! Stay beautiful!

  3. Alexis Lord

    February 13, 2016 2:34 pm

    Great article! I needed to hear this on today!!!

    1. Sharice B

      February 14, 2016 8:44 am

      Thank you Alexis! Glad I could deliver what you needed 🙂 Stay beautiful!

  4. Elizabeth Obi

    February 14, 2016 2:44 am

    Thank you for this !!

    1. Sharice B

      February 14, 2016 8:44 am

      Your welcome Elizabeth! Stay beautiful!

  5. Evelyn

    February 14, 2016 6:52 am

    Thank you so much for this!

    1. Sharice B

      February 14, 2016 8:45 am

      You’re welcome Evelyn! Stay beautiful!

  6. Pandy!

    February 15, 2016 10:31 pm

    Thanks Sharice! Miss you girlie. Keep doin ya thang!

    1. Sharice Bryant

      February 16, 2016 12:42 am

      No problem Pandy! miss you as well and I hope everything is good your way my dear 🙂

  7. Ava H

    February 15, 2016 11:07 pm

    Sharice,I recently turned 25. I can relate to everything in this article ! Thank you so much for for your wisdom. Great read ! I needed this !

    1. Sharice Bryant

      February 16, 2016 12:41 am

      You’re welcome Ava! happy belated! Glad you enjoyed the article and got a different perspective out of it! Keep pushing and stay beautiful!

  8. Kiara B.

    February 15, 2016 11:42 pm

    Just what I need after my 24th! Thanks keep writing!!!

    1. Sharice Bryant

      February 16, 2016 12:39 am

      Thank you Kiara! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Keep pushing and stay beautiful!

  9. Domonique

    February 17, 2016 2:24 am

    Great read! Many people quickly lose themselves in the race to have more and be better. As gratifying as it may be to receive 100 likes and a bunch of “oh I’m so jelly” comments, it has got to be much more scary to look back and realize you’ve made a decade worth of decisions solely based on the opinions, envy, or accpetance of others.

    1. Sharice Bryant

      February 17, 2016 7:39 pm

      Yes Domonique, you are very right. We lose so much of our true selves when we chase temporary things and people. Glad you enjoyed the article! Stay beautiful!

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