MIND & BODY

3 Ways to Regain Your Balance When Life Gets Stressful

Tiffany Shelton
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3 Mins read
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We all try our best to prepare for what life brings us, but sometimes we can find ourselves overwhelmed despite every intention to stay stress free. Life happens: cars break down, deadlines are moved, heartbreak, etc. all happen usually when we least expect them. Working towards balancing our lives reduces stress back to healthy levels and allows us to live in greater prosperity. The suffocating feeling of overwhelming stress, worry, and anxiety can cause us to behave in ways that only create a cycle of overbearing stress. But what can we do to gain our peace back and how can we reclaim balance in our lives?

1. Know Thy Stress

Walking around in denial of your stress is very dangerous. Allowing the influence of stress to stay unconscious only allows it to be processed by your psyche in negative ways like addiction, trouble sleeping, constant worry, and many other negative behaviors. However it is only when we take stock of the anxiety and stress influencing us in the present moment, that we are able to process it in healthy ways. There are many ways to check in with yourself to bring your struggles to consciousness, such as meditation, which allows you to let your defenses down and know your experience in the present moment (My Guided Meditation Demo).  Other methods to check in with yourself to see what has you frazzled is prayer, therapy, or talking with someone you trust about how you feel. Whatever method you choose, knowing your stress will help you start the process of regaining your balance.

2. Confront Thy Stress

Stress, anxiety, and worry are all fear based, and like all fears they must be confronted before they are reduced. Fears relate to the past and future and the first step to confronting fear is being present, which I detailed above. The next step requires going from a position of fight, flight, or freeze (panic), to maintaining a stance of confidence and preparedness in the face of fear. Reminding yourself that you have survived this long, tapping into your faith and spirituality, garnering support from loved ones, and standing strong in safety are all crucial to combat the harmful effects of overwhelming stress like worrying thoughts, high blood pressure, headaches, toxic self-criticism, and nervous mood. Once you know how your stress is affecting you, stop yourself in those moments and embrace a stance of bravery and security confronting your issues with confidence that you will overcome. And make it exaggerated, even fake it until you make it if need be, because balancing such overwhelming stress will require a strong counter.

3. Release Thy Stress

Finally once you know and confront your stress, RELEASE IT. More specifically, release it in a way that serves your true pure being. I love to increase my workout frequency during stress, but also things like yoga, chatting, creativity, poetry, art, performing, all release stress in a way that serves your higher purpose. Resist urges to release stress in easier ways like addiction (whether to alcohol, a relationship, or even work) that will just perpetuate the overwhelming cycle. Instead find what self-care works best for you to release stress. Regaining your balance in life will flow easily with positive releases of stress through self-care. So sleep well, eat healthy, and work out even if every fiber in you screams that you are too stressed do so. Balance takes work, and you will thank yourself for doing the work shortly after.

Life is not perfect for any us, but regaining your balance in the face of life’s challenges is key to a healthy and peaceful life. Good luck on your venture to regain balance, and I hope you can stress less with these tips.

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MIND & BODY

A to Zen of Life: A Guide to Living a Balanced Life

1 Min read
August 16, 2016

A TO ZEN OF LIFE A- AVOID NEGATIVE SOURCES, PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS AND HABITS B- BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND SUCCEED C- CONSIDER THINGS FROM EVERY ANGLE D- DON’T GIVE UP AND DON’T GIVE IN E- ENJOY LIFE TODAY, YESTERDAY IS GONE AND TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME F- FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE HIDDEN TREASURES, SEEK THEM AND ENJOY THEIR RICHES G- GIVE MORE THAN YOU PLANNED TO H- HAVE MAJOR LEAGUE FUN I- IGNORE THOSE WHO TRY TO DISCOURAGE YOU J- JUST DO IT K- KEEP TRYING NO MATTER HOW HARD IT SEEMS, IT WILL GET EASIER L- LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND MOST M- MAKE IT HAPPEN N- NEVER LIE, CHEAT OR STEAL, ALWAYS STRIKE A FAIR DEAL O- OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THINGS AS THEY REALLY ARE P- PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT Q- QUITTERS NEVER WIN AND WINNERS NEVER QUIT R- READ STUDY AND LEARN ABOUT EVERYTHING IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE S- STOP PROCRASTINATING T- TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN DESTINY U- UNDERSTAND YOURSELF IN ORDER TO BETTER UNDERSTAND OTHERS V- VISUALIZE IT AND FOCUS W- WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING X- XCELLERATE YOUR EFFORTS Y- YOU ARE UNIQUE IN ALL GOD’S CREATIONS, NOTHING CAN REPLACE YOU Z- ZERO IN ON YOUR TARGET AND GO FOR

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MIND & BODY

The Essence of Balance: 7 Ways to Create Balance In Your Everyday Life

2 Mins read
February 1, 2016

“Learn to say NO. If there are things that don’t add value to your life or aren’t essential to your wellbeing. Eliminate them!” My current mantra is…..balance. I value making time for all that is important to me to create a sense of balance.  Although we work hard, it is crucial to our overall well-being to make time for other things, such as yourself, family, friends as well as relaxation. Each morning I sit with a cup of tea in my favorite spot in my home, I call it my “AM Zen.” I sit in east-facing windows where I can feel the morning sun on my face as I close my eyes for meditation/pray. Why the east you ask, because I studied feng-shui and made it a part of my home. It too brings harmony & balance plus positive energy in the home when furnishings, wall color, lighting and the position of your home are aligned. Here are a few tips that I have implemented in my life to ensure balance: Learn to say NO. If there are things that don’t add value to your life or aren’t essential to your wellbeing. Eliminate them!  Spend quality time alone. It will help you learn who you are, what you are passionate about, lower stress and increase your happiness.  Remove all toxins, this includes people and food. Anything that produces negative energy, changes your mood from happy to sad {sugar does this}. I encourage you to minimize them.  Unplug from the world, even if it for a half day, don’t answer your phone, turn to computer or ipad off, don’t post anything on Instagram just completely disconnect yourself.  Listen to your body. Make sure you are visiting your Doctor annually, getting your yearly mammograms {if you are over 30 or at risk for breast cancer}, get plenty of rest and exercise. Try my favorite form of movement….yoga.  Tend to the relationships in your life that matter. Your family and close friends, spend quality time with them, interacting face to face. Effective communication is essential and is fading because of technology.  Take a vacation! Travel and see the world. Plan for a least one trip a year to a different location. I had the opportunity of traveling alone recently and I loved it. I have added it to my yearly list of things to accomplish. Most importantly remember to live life to the fullest you are only given one. Lighten up a little, laughter is so good for the soul.

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SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Could Your Summer Fling be the Real Thing?

4 Mins read
September 9, 2016

Could your summer fling be the real thing? “Summer is where the girls go barefoot and their hearts are just as free as their toes.” – It’s summer and the combination of rose sipping and days spent under the sun can create some very hot summer romances. Your summer fling is the perfect compliment to your summer sixteen, and as we head into the final weeks of summer you may be realizing you don’t want your fling to end. Falling for him or her, you’re wondering if this relationship can last through the seasons. As a therapist, I have worked with many women struggling to evaluate their relationships as well as I have my own experiences with this. What I have learned from my work as a therapist and my own experiences is there are certain common characteristics of lasting love even at the beginning. Here are 5 ways to tell if your summer fling could be the real thing… 1. He takes time to court you Yes, sex with you is so amazing but so is everything else about you too. I realize that “courting” is likely an antiquated term to most, as the old rules of dating seemed to have flown out of the window. However I believe it is still alive and very much well. Or at least it should be. I am not suggesting that women should wear a chastity belt, and circumvent their own desires in order to assess a relationship. However evaluating the quality of the time you spend with your partner is very important. Proper courting, or dating, is a sign that the relationship is not one dimensional and that your partner values getting to know all of you. So if I someone you’re dating takes the time to do things like take you out, ask you questions, call you at a decent hour, or even wait until you’re ready to have sex then there is a good sign the relationship is heading down a path of lasting love.   2. You Help Each Other Out  It’s a hot summer day, and as you are driving to the beach and your car breaks down. Who is the first person you would call if you were stranded? And if you called your summer boo do you think they would be willing to help you. One of the most common factors in lasting relationships is a willingness to help each other. Is that special person there for you when you need them or are they nowhere to be found? Would you drop something important to help out your fling if they needed the same? If the answer is yes, this is another great sign that your fling could be the real thing. 3. Making Plans in the Future  Another important factor in evaluating someone’s intentions is looking at their vision. If your partner has asked you to attend a concert 3 months down the line, it’s a great sign that he or she sees you in their future. Furthermore on the flip side, if your fling is hesitant to accept any invitations for future dates, it may mean they are hesitant to commit to you in general as well. Take time to see if your fling’s vision of the future includes you.    4. Title’s aren’t everything but they are SOMETHING As verbal beings, it is difficult for us to wrap our minds around anything without having a word for it. Even if you aren’t into titles, it may be helpful to take note of how your partner refers to you. Does they introduce you as friend? With just your name? Or do they not introduce at all? The answer is very telling. Also if someone is really serious about sharing a life with you, then they will make their intentions clear. Lasting love is not confusing, and is rooted in truth. So if you are confused about where your relationship is heading it may be time to simply just ask their intentions. Take a chance to be honest about your own intentions and be brave enough to hear if you and your partner’s intentions don’t match. 5. You’ve Met Each Other\’s Friends and Family   This tip is a classic one for a reason, because it’s most revealing. Would you feel comfortable introducing this person to your friends? Do you trust them enough to meet your family? Just as important to ask yourself, has your fling brought you around his friends? Has he or she taken you to the family barbeque? These are all telling signs that the two of you are making efforts to mold your lives together, which is a testament to a lasting relationship. Summer is a magical time and a perfect setting for love. These tips should help you align with your intuition and will likely just amplify what you already know. My ultimate advice is to trust yourself and align with your purpose in life. If you believe your summer love serves your purpose and fits with your current life, be willing to invite it into your future as well. Good luck on your conscious love journey!
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