5 Ways to Release Stress This New Year

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3 Mins read

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With all the stress that life has to offer it\’s vital to your health to find positive ways to release stress. Stress can literally KILL you and I don\’t know about you guys but I have way to many things to do to die. So I\’ve compiled a list that has worked for me in the past year that I hope can help you as well. Let\’s get into this…

1| EXERCISE

Exercising is a main source used for people to take out their everyday stress. The best way to do this is to explore some exercise options that work best with you. If you\’re a runner, go for a morning jog to clear your mind before your day even starts. If you\’re one of those people that like intense action look into boxing classes near you. If you are more of the calm kind of being, look into some Yoga classes in your neighborhood. Find out what kind of exercise method will help you relieve stress in whatever way is the most comfortable to you. Also don\’t feel like you only have to stick to one, on Monday you might need a little jog to get through the day, and by Friday you might want to be Floyd in the ring.

2| CHANGE THAT ATTITUDE!

I\’ve realized that the more I thought about whatever was stressing me out the worst it made me feel. The only way to not let stress control you is to change your attitude. Stop concentrating on that one thing that\’s bothering you and pay more attention to the good that\’s going on. You have to change the way you look at situations or you\’re going to let that stress eat you up everyday.

3| NO ELECTRONICS

In 2015 I can honestly say that electronics are the DEVIL! To be able to sit through a dinner at a restaurant with a group of people and not have ONE person look at their phone is rare. We can do almost anything with our devices and that\’s including looking over that paperwork that has been stressing us out all week. Sometimes it\’s good to just NOT be in constant contact or in instant reach of everyone.

My cell phone broke for about a week a couple months ago and no one could get in contact with me. It was the most peaceful week of my life. After that I decided a couple times throughout the week I would just randomly power my cellphone off. Whether it be for an hour or three hours just that little bit of time for myself instantly brings my mood back up. Try going a couple of hours without your devices and see the difference in your stress levels.

4| FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE

We all have something or somewhere that keeps us from completely falling apart. My happy place tends to be wherever I can get some good food and wine. One of my closest friends happy place happens to be church. We all need a place that we can go to that helps us escape the craziness and stress of life even if it only lasts an hour. Think of a place that you feel calm at or happy and use that place whenever you feel overwhelmed. The best thing about it is that it can be anywhere you want and there\’s no limit to how many happy places you can have.

5| PRAYER

Sometimes you need just that one conversation with whoever it is that you praise. Prayer has been known to put our souls at ease and to help clear our minds. Take some time out throughout your day to just pray, it might just help center your thoughts and add clarity to whatever you are going through.

What are other positive ways that you ladies relieve stress? Leave a comment letting us know!

Culture + Lifestyle MIND & BODY

Finding Peace in the Midst of Fear

3 Mins read

January 31, 2016

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. — Frank Hubert How can one be at peace and fearful at the same time? It’s an interesting dynamic of feelings some would argue is strange but somehow for me it was calming and exhilarating. Over the weekend I visited Charleston, South Carolina for the first time—a place which is extremely rich in history both good and bad. Prior to visiting Magnolia Plantation where these photos were taken, I visited Emanuel AME Church in the city where recently 9 innocent souls were murdered for the color of their skin…the same color as mine. My trip to Charleston was planned before the massacre at Emanuel AME Church. Naturally this event was in the back of my mind and triggered other thoughts like, “What if this happens again while I’m there?” or “What if there are other people like that guy who treats my friends and me poorly or even worse?”. I prayed on it and decided, as I always try to decide, that I can’t live my life in fear of the “what if’s” and that if something bad were to happen, it would be okay. I didn’t think it was fair to myself, my friends, the good people in Charleston and especially the victims of Emanuel AME, who obviously loved their church and this city, to cast this place into a dark shadow of shame. I did not want to let fear or the acts of a terrorist deter me from what otherwise seemed to be a wonderful place with beautiful people. As a Black female living on a plantation for a weekend it behooved me to acknowledge all aspects of the history engrained in the land. Walking the grounds I thought about where I am now, how I live my life and the stark contrast to what it would have been like if I were born at a different time, sooner, during slavery. I couldn’t image what it was like and how devastatingly painful it would have been. Traumatic even. Mix these thoughts with recent events and a few glares of disgust from a couple at breakfast that my friend and I dared to be on the same property as them and you’d think I’d be ready to leave. But from these thoughts, although sadness and frustration did ensue, was more a feeling of peace, humility and awe. I felt sad for the couple who refused to return a “Good Morning” or smile back when I sat down at breakfast but their ignorance was overshadowed by the other wonderful families, staff and relaxing sounds and beauty of nature I encountered. The property was absolutely gorgeous and everyone else, especially our waitress each morning Ms. Orcelia, was so kind and had calming energies. There was no other choice but to focus on the positive and although fear was in the back of my mind, I was overwhelmed with calmness and peace that God’s creations, people and nature, can be so beautiful and kind. This doesn’t negate the bad things that have and are yet to happen but the sensation of tranquility and power of God’s love and masterpieces were too huge to ignore. I encourage you to face your fears head on everyday – I promise you it’s worth it!

MIND & BODY

A Black Lotus Blossom: My First Yoga Experience

2 Mins read

January 31, 2016

A tall chocolate beauty walks into a local yoga studio. A sea of earthy Jade and sweat wicking Lululemon mats greet her. She unrolls her bright purple Target mat and throws down a turquoise green microfiber towel, and sits down. The reflection in the mirror—a singular chocolate chip in a batch of sugar cookies. She smiles into the mirror, and a few women smile back. I was this girl. A little over two years ago, I walked into my first yoga class. I’d taken a class here and there in PE or was dragged along by a friend, but I’d never really enjoyed or connected with it. It didn’t feel right. I was an athlete and yoga was just stretching. It wasn’t “hardcore” enough, but I was wrong. Yoga is a different kind of power. I will never forget that first heated Vinyasa Flow class. On that day, I opened my mind. The poses were hard. I wasn’t aligned properly, but my instructor Kim was patient, kind, and encouraging. She had a way of making you feel like you were the only person there. I was truly engaging with myself. Breath heavy. Sweat dripping to the mat. Breathing into poses was foreign. I’d never realized how disconnected I was from my own body. I remember praying for it to end. It was so hot. It was so difficult. It was so different. Kim spoke. Her words washed over me and awakened someone I thought I lost. She talked that day about being good to your body. She shared about her eating disorder; and the mother and media that drove it. Kim talked about the body as a gift—this life as a gift. She believed younger generations of women need body positive role models. Kim challenged us to be them. I wept in savasana that day. Tears falling down my face into the pools of sweat I’d created. Becoming a salty sweet patch of ground to blossom from as we returned to our final OM. My essence breathed a new life. I left powerful. I left renewed. I’d found a community, a place where the only thing that mattered was your mat, your mind, and your body.

MIND & BODY

The Art of Wellness: Part One

2 Mins read

January 31, 2016

In our community, I’ve noticed a lack of balance in our lives, because I was once there. We are so busy caring for others that we completely forget about ourselves. What is not understood is if we do not care for self, it is impossible to be fully present and care for others. Wellness is a state of being whole with the three aspects of our being, mind + body + spirit as they are all interconnected. Therefore, when one aspect of our being is not functioning properly or off balance, our self as a whole becomes off balance. I have also learned that the elements of Mamma Earth, Air, Earth, Fire and Water are an integral part of our wellness. This is why it is of utmost importance to include nature into our lives as often as possible. Taking a brief walk in the park, sitting near the ocean, stepping outside into the sun all send triggers to the human body that promote wellness. Here is a guide to explain how the elements of the universe work with our bodies: Earth = Our Skeletal system Water= All of the fluids in the body Fire= Enzymes of the body as well as our intellect Wind= Circulation, breathe and downward wind (elimination of body fluids) Ether/Air = Space in the Body that stimulates communication or emptiness in our cells The way we live, who we allow in our space, the words we speak, the thoughts we have, the food we put in our bodies, all affect our well-being. I have practiced yoga on and off for 7 years, it wasn’t until recently I discovered how my practice, along with prayer and meditation has changed my life for the better. As a woman of color I am fully in-tune with my body and who I am. I invite all who read this, if you have never tried yoga; please do so it will change your life. With the advancement of technology you can practice in the privacy of your own home. If you are able to visit a local yoga studio in your community please do. Some communities are now doing yoga through donation so it is not as costly as you think. Queens, please take the time to love on you!

MIND & BODY

3 Ways to Become a Manifesting Queen

3 Mins read

January 31, 2016

One of the greatest things that I am so grateful that I have learned in this life journey is the power of manifestation. Goals have turned to reality even beyond my own desires or belief. Many of us have read books like the Secret, A New Earth, and of course ancient teachings premiering these thoughts like the Bible, detailing the way in which to manifest our best life. However in applying these teachings, the modern world can be a daunting blank canvas when navigating manifestation success. Furthermore the dynamic circumstances that life throws at us, although organic, in the moment can feel paralyzing in our journey to manifest our visions. Here I describe 3 ways in which I have learned to see manifestation techniques through and truly own living my best life. 1. Make your vision tangible! Your vision is your plan, and it is our duty to make this plan as clear as possible. This means creating something physical to begin the process of bringing your vision to reality. Furthermore any plan is only as good as it it’s timeline, so before you begin your process of manifestation, think about a time frame in which you would like to see your vision come to fruition. For me, putting my plan on paper has been a tremendous boost in clarity to my vision. I start with journaling in vast detail what I am grateful for and writing a prayer of gratitude. Then I write down goals for this given time frame, and because I am a visual person I make a corresponding vision board. I treat this process as a sacred ritual, and try to make sure that my energy is in alignment with prosperity. No matter your preferred method of planning, whether vision board, journaling, or something more tactile, make sure to create a detailed map of your goals. 2. Believing takes more than wishing. All guides to manifestation prescribe faith and wholeheartedly believing that what you are envisioning will come to be; however few tell us how to harness such faith. What I have found with working with so many clients helping them reach their goals is that emotional well-being is key in believing positive things are destined for you. This includes working through any mental health issues like major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, or even trauma. Such issues thwart manifestation due to devastating symptoms that perpetuate self-sabotage, feelings of insecurity or depletion, and constant vigilance. Therapy with a licensed professional is one of the best ways to treat mental health issues, and help you manifest your best life easier. For tips on how to find a therapist for you, read my article: How to find the best therapist for you. Other components key in harnessing faith in your plan are loving yourself, aiming for a peaceful life, and blessing others, all of which create abundance in your life that makes it easier to believe in positive changes. 3. Reflection One of the most beautiful parts of the manifestation process is the realization of how abundantly blessed you are in every moment. True manifestation requires constant gratitude and internal reflection on the internal peace and happiness we get just from being. Therefore my manifestation process includes a consistent meditation practice and I truly push myself to constantly honor the divinity within me. To find out more how meditation can change your life, read my article, 3 reasons meditation will change your life forever. Also noteworthy, reflection is the only true way of realizing when your vision has come to fruition, and many times this is when you realize your goals have been exceeded with unexpected prosperity. I hope these tips help you become the Manifesting Queen that you are! Wishing you many blessings on your journey.

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Who Defines Your Pretty?

3 Mins read

January 31, 2016

Photo Credit: Pollynor The compliments were making my cup of love runneth over. They were voluminous and quickly became the usual. The new normal if you will. My confidence about my abilities to keep this certain someone intrigued shot to the moon. Every day. It felt orgasmic. Then it stopped. It wasn\’t necessarily on a Wednesday- \”you are so freakin’ sexy\”, and on Thursday- crickets. I would say it was more so of a gradual decrease in zest. The fervor for my texted selfies became more and more tame. The ooh la la emojis became \”nice pic\” replies. And if you\’re wondering. Yes. I am an over-sharer in many ways. Especially when I am dating someone that lives in a different time zone. I kind of don\’t want them to forget what I look like. That\’s because I am a giver. I give dating my all. Except, bending over bendy backwards for silly antics, like sending them money or going house hunting and showing the realtor a picture of them on your iPhone and saying, \”they couldn\’t make it today\” when we have only known each other a hot minute. That, I don\’t do. However, all in all, I actually remain faithful while dating someone, so I can get to know her equally and respectfully. I show up. I remain present. Reciprocity is my goal from day one. But by now you’re probably not shocked to find out that, almost overnight, I found myself suddenly not dating her. All of that law of attraction mumbo jumbo vanished. My reciprocity currency totally didn’t honor my deposit. I would love a refund. Even before the ax dropped, I had found myself second-guessing my physical attractive-ness quotient with her. Nothing excessive. Only about four times in roughly 28-ish days. That\’s so not normally me either. I’ve been very body, sex, and mind positive for about the past five years. Increasingly, I have become confident in being able to keep my partner attracted to me. I feel like “the” bees knees on any given day. I am 35. I’ve earned this. But with this particular cutie, I felt increasingly un-cute. And that got me to thinking. Who defines your pretty? I do mean pretty in the most literal sense of the word too. Isn’t it fascinating how you can have all of the sexy strut confidence in the world, but the moment that someone that we want to be flat out crazy over our gorgeous-ness doesn’t reciprocate, we second guess our pretty? When I was dating that cutie and her enthusiasm for my appearance begun to wane, two things happened. First, I took my selfie game up a notch. Don’t worry, I wasn’t naked. But I did start to curate them. I would stroll through my phone and even my Mac to find the hottest (at least in my opinion) photos of myself. I only remember one of them around this time really getting a response out of her. Cleavage was on fleek in that photo. Maybe that was why. Yet, even going the “here’s a picture of me at the Beyonce/Jay-Z On The Run tour looking hot as hell” route didn’t really get applause. Next, I tried this: I stopped sending her photos altogether. I shrunk. I figured that there was no point. It wasn’t going to elicit any rave reviews from her. My intuition was correct. The entire situation saddened me. Not because she didn’t find me that physically attractive, but that I had let her reactions towards me totally influence my behavior and question the value and perception I have of myself. I’ve worked hard to not be a shrinking violet. I couldn’t believe that I was doing so with someone that lived 1,823 miles away. There was a hole host of other lessons I learned while dating her, like the fact that she’s a Capricorn and I am a Sagittarius and those are not compatible signs, period. And that someone can flirt with you for two years on Facebook but once they meet you, they simply could just not be that into you. But, more than anything I learned that you should never let anyone steer you away from feeling like a hottie if that is how you truly feel about yourself. The only person that should define your pretty, is you.

Culture + Lifestyle

EAT, PRAY, LOVE(ISH):Thailand, Bali, Singapore and Back

4 Mins read

January 31, 2016

EAT: Thailand — Bangkok, Phuket, Phi Phi Islands Deep in my heart of hearts I know I visited Thailand to eat. I eat Thai food almost every week (not good for my banking account) and try making thai dishes at home. (not good for my belly) I love green, red, yellow and massaman curry, pad thai, tom yum soup & papaya salad; just to name a few! I’ve been to 7 countries in Asia, and by far Thai food is the most exciting and flavorful cuisine; sometimes a bit sweet but always spicy. In Bangkok I was on a pad thai frenzy. I tried 10 different versions, all of them special and delicious but the texture of the noodle changed, the garnishes; some had a subtle sweetness, some had none at all. On the Phi Phi (pee pee) Islands we ate family style and shared all the curries under the sun and enough papaya salad to go around. In Phuket we all picked our very favorite to celebrate our last night in the country. I fell in love with massaman curry during the trip but I chose to try one last pad thai; I never met a pad thai in Thailand that I didn’t like. My gastronomic dreams came true! Along the ride I also managed to ride around town in a tuk tuk, visit temples and cuddle with elephants and tigers. I visited Maya Beach on a long-tail boat and snorkeled in water clearer than bath water. I went to the disco and an after-hour spot that closed at 10am and took vodka shots with Ladyboys. If I’m ever lucky enough to return I’ll go to the floating markets and visit Chiang Mai like Anthony Bourdain, maybe take a little more time really getting to know Bangkok. PRAY: Indonesia — Ubud, Bali I didn’t go to Indonesia to pray. I went to see a friend of mine that I met when I was studying abroad in England. Her and I had been trying to meet up for years and finally we were both on the same continent. We were lucky enough to visit during Nyepi ( Balinese new year! ) and take part in the festivities. The first day of Nyepi was a day of silence. No one was allowed to use technology, talk, use electricity, the airport closed, no one went to work and no one could be on the streets the entire day. There were soldiers on the road to make sure that everyone respected the tradition. It was a time for the people of Bali to reflect on their lives past, present and future. That day I spent hours alone resting, praying and meditating. We tried our very best to respectful but it was very hard to stay quiet all day.The next day we went to a huge parade where people were dressed in costumes and dramatic makeup. In huge crowds people were cheering and watching intricate floats go down the road. I don’t believe that I have to be still to meditate so my friend and I went to Sunday Dance at Yoga Barn with 100 other travelers and expats. We were barebacked and sweaty dancing to world music for two hours. Not much talking, just letting our bodies release energy and negative spirits. I got massages everywhere but Indonesia was my favorite because it was cheaper. I practiced mindfulness and focused on my body and tried to listen to what it was saying to me. I got a massage every other day! I had high expectation of Bali and I left healed. I never knew a place so green, so open-armed and spiritual. When I return I’ll do more Yoga and go beyond Ubud and it’s magical forest. LOVE: Singapore I guess I’m being a little misleading here. I wasn’t looking for love in Singapore but I did go on a Tinder date. My friend used my profile and did all the swiping, so I’ll call them our matches. We matched with about 25 people in a couple of hours, both locals and expats. They offered tips on sites to see and bars to visit. Some wanted to meet up and some would just say “Hey! you are really beautiful” My friend and I both went on the date together. We had a drink on the stunning harbor and talked with him about the pros and cons of living and working in Singapore. He loved that his job paid for his accommodation in a ultra-trendy condo with a roof top pool. He didn’t like feeling like he was under surveillance and would be punished if he said anything bad about the government. He missed living in Trinidad and the states and planned to move back soon. My friend and I enjoyed the company but I personally wouldn’t do it again. I had to unmatch 25 people when I got back to the states and I think a lot of them were actually interested in more romantic encounters. I had no rhyme or reason for wanting to visit Singapore. I just looked at the map and saw it was close to where I was already headed. I did find love but it wasn’t a person, it was that of the simplicity of chicken rice and seeing the Garden City Concept in real life. There’s no greater love than the marrying of city and green space; both of which put me in my happy place. I visited the Gardens By the Bay, which had a real life Avatar looking garden, learned about the Chinese laborers who built the city and came there to work, and about the many interesting people that make this port city so intriguing. Just like a lost love, I am certain that this kind of place exists and although I was heart broken leaving, I know I’ll find it again one day.

Culture + Lifestyle

8 Tips For Buying Organic Food on a Budget

6 Mins read

January 31, 2016

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could buy exclusively organic foods without breaking the bank? Choosing to buy fresher foods with fewer pesticides is a step toward living a more natural lifestyle, however, the immediate turnoff is the cost. What if I told you that there are affordable ways to enjoy the benefits of eating organic without going broke? Below are some tips that I feel will be helpful with shopping organic on a budget. 1. Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen Working for an environmental non-profit organization taught me a lot about the many chemicals put into our everyday products, especially food. Every year, the Environmental Working Group releases the updated version of the Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen lists, which refer to the fruits and vegetables that are the most and least contaminated by pesticide use. Dirty Dozen are produce items with the highest amounts of pesticides and harmful chemicals. The Clean Fifteen are the produce items with the least amount of pesticides and chemical exposure. Pesticides should not be taken lightly as our bodies are not built to naturally detoxify these man-made chemicals on a daily basis. Pesticides have been linked to cancers, brain problems and many other health issues. I hope this information will not scare you from still eating your fruits and vegetables even if they happen to not be organic. It’s important to work with what you have, and start to see where your budget allows it especially for the dirty dozen items. These list are a great start toward making smarter choices navigating which foods you should aim to buy organic and some that you can skip to save money. For example, if you had to choose between the more expensive organic strawberries over the non-organic asparagus – I would choose the strawberries since they are known to carry higher concentrations of pesticides than asparagus. Put the handout on your fridge or carry it with you when you shop to familiarize yourself with each group. 2. Support Your Local Farmers Market Farmer markets give you the opportunity to build lasting relationships with local farmers in your area while learning about their individual practices. When finding out about the farmers market in my neighborhood, I was under the impression that it would be nearly impossible to shop there. It wasn’t until I walked around, seen prices and spoke with farmers that I learned shopping for organic foods can be significantly cheaper than the store brands. Many times, farmers are willing to negotiate prices and will have deals. Last weekend, I bought two bags of fresh spinach for only $4. There are farmers markets that accept WIC and SNAP, which is another plus in serving the community. There are countless reasons to support your local farmers market, like learning to eat produce in season, connecting with where your food comes from and supporting your local farmers. Nothing taste better than eating a fresh picked peach from the farm than a peach that traveled miles before it reached your local grocery store. To find local farmer markets near you go to LocalHarvest.org or the USDA. 3. Prioritize Your Purchases If every product you bought was organic, then you can expect a dent in your food budget. You can get a smaller increase by buying mostly conventional products for those produce items with low pesticide residue (save your money) and the produce with high pesticide use try to buy organic (Dirty Dozen). Whether I am shopping at the grocery store or the farmers market, I always prioritize the items on my list. For example, I mainly buy my produce from the farmers market so I will usually prioritize the items that I want from there first. Another important tip to keep in mind are meat & dairy (animals products like chicken, eggs, cheese, butter, yogurt, milk, etc.) are also the most important to buy organic because of the combined risk of pesticide, anti-biotic and cancer causing growth hormone exposure. Whatever you do, try your best to not skimp here. By having an idea of what you plan to cook for the week, you are less likely to drop random items in your cart all willy-nilly. 4. Buy Online After finding out about Vitacost, I have been obsessed. It is a low cost website that offers a wide variety of healthy snacks, food, vitamins, and more. Vitacost in particular offers special deals on certain brands and will even give you free shipping if your total purchases is over a certain amount.Sprouts Farmers Markets is another chain with 200-plus stores, mostly in the Southwest. Its focus, according to its website, is “offering fresh, natural, and organic foods at great prices.” Consumer reviews on the Web praise the store’s deals on produce, meats, and bulk-bin items such as nuts and spices. 5. Look for Coupons Looking for coupons and stacking up on deals is another benefit in saving money. I am not on the status of extreme couponing, but looking out for deals on healthy brands that you like is always helpful. One great site is Organic Deals, which combs through stores’ sale fliers to find organic products that are selling at a good price, and it offers links to online coupons you can stack with those sales. All Natural Savings is another website that is similar to Organic Deals that provides a searchable database of coupons for organic products. 6. Understand Your Labels Navigating the web of organic labeling can be confusing starting off especially with so many products being called as “all natural” or “certified organic.” What does organic even mean? By understanding the labeling terminologies, you can start figuring out ways to incorporate these items into your budget and diet. The first step is to identify which products are organic is by the USDA Organic seal. The seal represents products meeting specific standard guidelines that qualify it as “organic” and that the product is free of genetically modified organisms (GMOs), antibiotics, hormones, synthetic chemical pesticides and other …

MIND & BODY

The Art of Wellness: Part Two

2 Mins read

January 31, 2016

As a little girl I can remember pretending all of my baby dolls were sick and it was my job to make them feel better. I use to watch my Mother sip warm water with lemon & honey everyday so I thought that would heal my sick babies. It amazes me how when you have a calling on your life, often times the process begins as a child. I first heard about Ayurveda when I began practicing yoga. I found it very interesting that it was something I didn’t hear about in College, and my field of study was healthcare. Ayurveda is an ancient system that is said to have originated in India thousands of years ago. The philosophy teaches balance and disorder, health and disease. Disease is created through genetics, as well as the interconnectedness between body, mind and spirit. When the body is out of balance with the mind and spirit, it is easy for disease to form. However when all is aligned in the body, mind + spirit and is in-tune with the five essential elements: ether, air, fire, water and earth, the body is a self- healer. Good health is the maintenance of one’s unique combinations of the doshas, which governs the internal biochemical changes that lead to either high or low metabolism. Our three doshas are Pitta,Vata and Kapha. Learning what your Dosha is can assist you in learning what you should eat, what exercises are best for you as well as what beauty products are perfect for your skin. I have integrated this philosophy in my life from the heart of my home, the kitchen, to my daily + weekly regimen of self-care. My kitchen consists of various herbs + spices that allow me to create my own tea and prepare well balanced meals for myself + family. I infuse my own tea blends daily consisting of herbs purchased at a local shop. My vanity contains a mixture of natural oils {used to remove makeup}; organic facial cleanser that contains black soap + vitamin E oil, organic toner {used 3x a week}. Itake steam bathe’s infused with a mixture I created that consists of lavender, rose buds, vitamin e + almond oil, Himalayan salt + coarse sea salt at least twice a week. Lastly I also gargle with sesame oil {3x a week} to pull all the impurities out of my body which helps maintain a healthy mouth. Remember the mouth is what leads to feeding our bodies so it too must be cleansed and kept healthy. Continue to love + care for yourself first so that you can be of service to all others.

MIND & BODY

What’s the Big Deal? Therapy for Women of Color

2 Mins read

February 1, 2016

“Take care of your mind, after all it’s the only place you have to live in.” Don’t believe the hype! Therapy can be a great source of healing for all people, even us brown girls despite the stigma in our community. So you’ve made the decision to go to therapy! That’s amazing and congratulations for taking the first step in healing. But now you’re faced with the task of finding a therapist to work with. This doesn’t have to be daunting. Start with calling to interview therapists you are considering over the phone before committing and use these 3 tips to help find the best therapist for you. 1. Look for specialists. Save time when searching for a therapist by searching for a therapist that specializes in the specific issue you are seeking therapy for. All therapist are generally trained in most emotional and mental health issues, therefore finding one that specializes in what you are dealing with will not only save you time but guarantee that you get the best care. So when searching online or asking for referrals be sure to use keywords that relate to your problem. When interviewing therapists ask them about their specialty and make sure its a good fit for you. Furthermore interview your potential therapist about their cultural competence to make sure they are expertly qualified to treat women of color! 2. Don’t feel confined by your insurance network. It is a myth that going through your insurance plan is the only affordable way to attain therapy. Furthermore, insurance is not set up to foster the best therapy; it is designed to save the insurance companies money. There are several highly qualified therapists that offer sliding scales to their customers, making therapy very affordable. Also therapists registered as psychological assistants, are able to charge significantly reduced fees while they are working towards their licensure, giving clients the opportunity to save big bucks while receiving quality therapy. When you go in for a consultation with a therapist, ask them if they offer a sliding scale and don’t hesitate to negotiate a fee that you feel is fair with therapists you interview. 3. Notice how you feel when talking with the therapist. One of key factors of success for therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. So follow your gut and take stock of your first impressions of each therapist you interview. It is important you feel comfortable with your new therapist and your first intuition is usually a good indicator of how you will relate with your therapist in the future. And if you are unsure about something you are sensing, I encourage you to ask the therapist questions to better clarify any preconceived concerns. I hope this helps you begin this amazing journey, and HAPPY HEALING! Also if you are looking for a supplement to therapy read Tiffany’s blog about the Benefits of Meditation, to learn how to increase your happiness even further.

Culture + Lifestyle

7 Ways to Fight Homesickness

2 Mins read

February 1, 2016

The sparkle wears off. And you’re left with the what the f— am I doing here feeling? Los Angeles can be a really isolating place. You experience everything through a glass. Everybody drives. If you don’t, you get wrapped up in this haze of heat and loneliness. It’s enough to make anyone homesick. I’ve found a few ways that helped me cope. 1. OMG FaceTime SomeoneYou’re in a new place with unfamiliar faces. Sometimes just having one conversation with your best friend, your mom, or even your childhood mailman (okay maybe not that last one) will do you a world of good. Don’t hesitate to reach out and get in touch. 2. Find a Familiar PlaceThere’s a reason you go to Europe and somehow end up at McDonalds. Those golden arches are never different. That mustard and ketchup color scheme as abrasive as it may be, feels like home. #Merica. For me a familiar place is nature. Sit in the middle of a park and close your eyes. It’s basically the same anywhere you go: People on blankets, runners, children screaming, and people laughing. It may not be my park, but it still creates that at home vibe. 3. Get the HELL Off Social MediaI’m serious. Nothing makes you more homesick that seeing all the perfectly curated fun your friends are having without you. Nothing makes you feel more isolated than knowing that you’re doing this in your underwear eating air popped popcorn on a Friday or Saturday night. So stop. Just take a social hiatus and thank me later! 4. Workout“Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t kill their husbands.” In the wise words of Elle Woods, seriously, you can’t spiral into despair when you’re pumped with endorphins. Get up and move. It’s enough to give you a positive outlook. 5. CryI give you total permission to cry. Big boys and girls are allowed to cry. Sometimes a good cry is cathartic and if that’s your release. Let. It. Out. I cried on and off all day once. I even played one of my favorite Dane Cook skits and laugh cried. 6. Make A To-Do ListEstablish normalcy! Having a plan makes you feel like you’re getting somewhere. Even if one of the boxes was “consider getting bangs again”. I considered it and decided it’s better left in the past.7. Get Creative!Paint, write, dance, or sew together some drapes a la Sound of Music—whatever expression of self you need. Do it. But make it tangible. It grounds you.Please, share yours too! I want to know how you deal with homesickness. It’s always a good idea to have more tools in the arsenal.

MIND & BODY

The Essence of Balance: 7 Ways to Create Balance In Your Everyday Life

2 Mins read

February 1, 2016

“Learn to say NO. If there are things that don’t add value to your life or aren’t essential to your wellbeing. Eliminate them!” My current mantra is…..balance. I value making time for all that is important to me to create a sense of balance. Although we work hard, it is crucial to our overall well-being to make time for other things, such as yourself, family, friends as well as relaxation. Each morning I sit with a cup of tea in my favorite spot in my home, I call it my “AM Zen.” I sit in east-facing windows where I can feel the morning sun on my face as I close my eyes for meditation/pray. Why the east you ask, because I studied feng-shui and made it a part of my home. It too brings harmony & balance plus positive energy in the home when furnishings, wall color, lighting and the position of your home are aligned. Here are a few tips that I have implemented in my life to ensure balance: Learn to say NO. If there are things that don’t add value to your life or aren’t essential to your wellbeing. Eliminate them! Spend quality time alone. It will help you learn who you are, what you are passionate about, lower stress and increase your happiness. Remove all toxins, this includes people and food. Anything that produces negative energy, changes your mood from happy to sad {sugar does this}. I encourage you to minimize them. Unplug from the world, even if it for a half day, don’t answer your phone, turn to computer or ipad off, don’t post anything on Instagram just completely disconnect yourself. Listen to your body. Make sure you are visiting your Doctor annually, getting your yearly mammograms {if you are over 30 or at risk for breast cancer}, get plenty of rest and exercise. Try my favorite form of movement….yoga. Tend to the relationships in your life that matter. Your family and close friends, spend quality time with them, interacting face to face. Effective communication is essential and is fading because of technology. Take a vacation! Travel and see the world. Plan for a least one trip a year to a different location. I had the opportunity of traveling alone recently and I loved it. I have added it to my yearly list of things to accomplish. Most importantly remember to live life to the fullest you are only given one. Lighten up a little, laughter is so good for the soul.

MIND & BODY

Self Love Ain’t Easy: 3 Tips on Loving Yourself

2 Mins read

February 1, 2016

A few months ago I attended the 5th Annual National Black Women’s life Balance and Wellness Conference at Spelman College. On the last day, I stood in a circle with Toni Carey co-founder of Black Girls Run, Dr. Nadia Richardson founder of No More Martyrs, and scholar activist Dr. Lisa Covington. I felt honored to be standing among black women doing amazing work on a national level regarding black women’s health and wellness. While talking, laughing, and enjoying the company of these brilliant women I was suddenly struck by the significance of that moment. Our circle reminded me of the importance of finding people who validate and affirm me in a world that often does the exact opposite. Trying to love and care for myself can sometimes be hard work. In a society that profits from self loathing, self love can be difficult to sustain daily. What makes it a bit less challenging, however, is the love and support I receive from others. Unfortunately, self love is often packaged as something individuals strive for in isolation. It just doesn’t work that way. We are social beings wired to connect with others. Contrary to popular sentiment, self love does not occur in a vacuum. Author bell hooks says it best in her book “All About Love” when she writes, “Self love cannot flourish in isolation. It is no easy task to be self loving.” So here are three tips to love yourself more by including others in your journey. 1. Go where you’re appreciated. Sometimes others won’t see your value. Crazy right?! Unfortunately, it happens. What you shouldn’t do is try to convince others of your worth if they refuse to see it. Staying at a job that doesn’t value your work ethic and skill sets or trying to be part of a social circle that you’re not a good fit for is never a good idea. It’s draining and takes up too much mental and emotional energy. That energy could be spent creating amazing things with people who genuinely love your work and see your value. 2. Know that it’s okay to want affirmation and validation from others. Just make sure that you’re getting it from people who love and care for you and genuinely want to see you grow, develop, and be happy. Also make sure that you’re not depending on other people to validate or affirm you all of the time. There should be a healthy balance between developing love for yourself from your own internal resources and leaning on others for reminders that you are worthy of love. 3. Pour back love into others because they are an extension of you. A significant part of self love requires you to show love to others. Bob Marley knew a thing or two about self love when he sang “One Love, One Heart.” As much as your understanding of self love develops, it will never be complete if you don’t also practice loving others.

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