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For Black Women By Black Women
For Black Women By Black Women
MIND & BODY

7 Keys to Unlocking Your Authentic Self

Sharice Bryant
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6 Mins read
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Hey beauties! I hope you had a magical and fabulous holiday season! The most wonderful time of the year has gone and left faster than the Ebola scare, and as we take down our Christmas trees, sipped the last of the holiday drinks from Starbucks, the ball has dropped at midnight all over the world, and the confetti has been swept away, everyone’s focus is the new year: 2016! Yayyyyyy! We made it! But with a new year, often times, comes a new us…or at least that’s what we strive for. Don’t let the black hearted, cynical individuals make you feel like just another one of the sheep when you say: “New year, new me.” A new day, and of course a new year are always a great opportunity in taking a step closer to your authentic and best self.

But, how do we take those steps to reach our best and fabulous self in 2016? Do not worry; I’ve got the keys:

1. Write Down Your Goals

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A vision without a plan is a merely a dream. You can have all the things you want to do swimming inside your head, but who honestly even remembers all of the goals they want to achieve? No one, that’s who, From the biggest to the smallest of things you would like to achieve, to the present and future goals, take my word and write it all down. I’ve found that when I write down or type a specific goal down in my notes app, I’m determined to achieve it. And I do. A goal is a goal is a goal is a goal. Write it down, take a picture, I don’t give a f**k! You can do it!

2. Do Things on Your Own Time

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Until you’re six feet under, it’s never too late to start anew. Whatever it is that you want to achieve in the New Year in order to become the person you believe you’re meant to be, you must first start that journey on your own time. We often base our clocks off of what others are doing and when they’re doing it. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and the Kardashians, and keep up with yourself.

Back in 2011, I started my weight loss journey at a whopping 305 lbs…in March of that year. When the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t thinking about changing my diet and getting a gym membership. Eventually, the desire to becoming a healthier me in the physical aspect, arose in March and the first thing I did in that first week of the month, was join a gym and started YouTubing what diet change was best for me. With my 5-year weight loss anniversary coming up, and shedding 110 lbs, my main focus for 2016, is to make short-term goals as far as weight loss goes. I’m not giving myself a timeline; I’m just going to do what works for me and not stressing the time it takes to get to my ultimate goal. It’s not the law to begin any kind of life changing journey in January of any new year. Do what you need to do in the time that’s best. We were all born on different days, at different times, so live your life according to YOUR timeline.

3. Drop the Dead Weight

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You ever seen a snake not shed their dead skin when the time has come? No, you haven’t. So why are you still lugging around that heavy load on your back? This is one key that I believe every beauty should learn to do ASAP, and not wait until the New Year has arrived. Dead weight is one of the many things we often carry around with us that holds us back from reaching our authentic self.

What is dead weight you ask? It’s anything and anyone that is not helping you reach your authentic, most positive self, along with your future goals. You have a group of friends that don’t encourage you and your dreams? Separate yourselves from that group. Working a job that isn’t even in your field, and adds stress to your life? Quit. In a relationship with someone that worries you rather than makes you happy? Chuck up the deuces. Got a habit that you know is not good for you? Kick it to the curb. Carrying around dead weight will crash the plane. Pack lightly beauties.

4. Get a Hobby

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We all have our things. So find yours if you haven’t. Hobbies are great and you can never have enough of them. A hobby can be anything that promotes peace and tranquility in your life, whether it’s writing, reading, doing DIY (Do It Yourself) projects, exercising, trying the newest restaurants in your city, blogging, collecting certain items, or volunteering. If you have a hobby, keep it going! If you don’t, find one and be great!

5. Love Yourself

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Self-love is the best kind of love. It’s a tried and true saying that many of us don’t practice nowadays. The holiday season begins in October and ends in February, so of course you’ve probably been seeing couples and new engagements everywhere you go. Everywhere. And you might find yourself feeling as if you’re a leper for the mere fact that you haven’t had someone to share the holidays with in years, after going on many dates that end up not going any further. That feeling is normal and okay. Who doesn’t want to be in a great relationship, that’s on its way to becoming an everlasting union? Satan, that’s who. However, the most vital key to living that authentic life is to learn to love you before trying to love someone else. Tis true beauty. Tis true. When you love the beauty that is you, you don’t put up with anyone (including friends and co-workers) treating you any ole’ way, you set certain standards that you refuse (and should) to lower for anyone, and best of all, you’re happy when you love yourself. It’s not an easy thing to do, but finding self-love unlocks so many doors that you’ve kept yourself from walking into when you practice self-hate. When you love yourself, you believe you’ll land your dream career, because you deserve it. When you love yourself, you seek a better life, because you know you deserve a fabulous life. When you love yourself, you don’t seek any relationship to void out a lonely night, because you know you deserve unconditional love. Know yourself. Love yourself.

6. Let That Hurt Go….Seriously

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“I forgive but I won’t forget” is a phrase created by the hurt! Don’t be on your Rick Ross tip, and not forgive just because God does. That’s called bitterness. Don’t be a bitter beauty. Let. That. Hurt. Go. Just like dead weight, you have to drop past heartbreaks, painful situations and disloyal things people have done to you. Even if you never received a sincere apology or an apology at all from whoever hurt you, forgive them anyways and move it along. Forget about it! The one who suffers the most when we don’t forgive is no one but ourselves. If you’re still caught up on a past situation that still shakes you to the core to this day, you must try your best to let go of the hurt that was put into you. Seek some counseling if you must, if that’s what you feel you need to do. Sometimes all it takes to let go of past situations is to talk about it. Hurt people hurt people, and no one wants to be around a negative Nancy. Holding on to hurt is holding on to energy that kills us every second of every day. Let that hurt go girl.

7. Prosper!

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Last but not least, PROSPER! Use this New Year and the future New Years, to prosper in every aspect of life, wherever you see fit. Get ya shine on *insert sunglasses emoji here*.

And with these keys, I do hope you unlock the doors to becoming your most beautiful and authentic self. You deserve it! I wish you a happy, fabulous and blessed New Year!

Treat Yo’ Self Girl and Stay Beautiful!

being your authentic self being yourself unlocking your potential
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Culture + Lifestyle

3 Aspects in Finding Your Faith

6 Mins read
August 29, 2016

Hey beauties! I suggest you cue some Kirk Franklin, because it’s about to get spiritual UP IN HERE! The past two years for me have been quite a transition with so many areas in life. Jobs, figuring out what I want to do and how to go about doing such, relationships, friendships…the list just goes on. But one thing I’ve haven’t touched on that is a big part of my life journey is my faith and how I found. Many of us have or are currently struggling with finding faith (if interested at all in doing so), keeping it and living it.             Your belief in a higher being is always tested, so I’m not going to lie to you and say the journey is smooth and once you find your faith, that everything will go your way, because that is the furthest from the truth.             So how do we find our faith in order to live as faithful beings? It’s not as complicated or lengthy list as many believe. Allow me to present to you… THE 3 ASPECTS IN FINDING YOUR FAITH 1.     Forgive & Seek Forgiveness So you’ve had a revelation and have decided to get closer or even get to know God, fantastic girl! The long yet beneficial spiritual journey requires us to strip ourselves from the person we were before seeking God. Forgiveness is a major key in finding and living your faith. Often times when this subject comes up, we think of forgiving others for wronging us, even if we don’t receive an apology, which is true but have you forgave yourself yet? It took me some time to practice this aspect, and I’m still doing such to this day. Just like God forgives us for our trespasses, we must also forgive ourselves and stop condemning the person we left behind in the past. Your future has no room for guilt my dear. Yes, those that may have known and have even gotten used to the old you and your old habits will have a ball bringing up the things you’ve done, but it’s not your job to feed into that.             There were many things I’ve done in previous years that I sometimes still feel ashamed of, but what I had to do was tell myself whole heartedly that the choices I’ve made doesn’t equate to me not deserving a blessed and prosperous life. When we know we’ve done a bad thing, we beat ourselves up for a very long time and that stunts our growth. In order to receive the blessings that were intended for you, you have to first believe that you deserve them and forgive yourself of the things you may have done long ago, or even last week! Are we clear?  It’s also important to seek forgiveness as well. Seek forgiveness from others you may have wronged. Whether you get an acceptance or not, just know that you stepped forward with a sincere apology. If someone doesn’t forgive you, they’re only hurting themselves. And but of course, seek forgiveness from God. That’s the easiest part because before you even confess, you are forgiven. However, what has worked for me was verbally asking for forgiveness, actually changing my behavior and praying for the strength to continue to forgive myself, forgive others and seek forgiveness when necessary. It might work for you too 😉 “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”- Colossians 1:13-14 2.     Detox Your Life (a.k.a shake the devil off) The devil is a lie chile. Anything or anyone that serves as a threat to keep you from your spiritual goals and blessings is toxic and you must detox your life from all the mess that isn’t helping you in the long run.             I’m sure we’ve all heard of or have tried those popular detox fitness teas, or have even done a homemade juice cleanse. When someone drinks those teas, or juices for a certain amount of time, the body begins to rid all of the bad stuff. This process usually results in frequent trips to the bathroom due to the fact that the ingredients being taken in are quickly ridding the toxic within. Detoxing your life operates the exact same way.             First things first, identify what or whom exactly it is that is not serving your spiritual life positively. Every problem needs to be identified then eliminated. For some, excess drinking of alcohol can be a catalyst for toxic behavior ending in horrible consequences.  For others, it could be their anger, judging others, putting up with people that don’t have their best interest at heart, self-doubt, smoking, high-risk sexual encounters, etc. Just know that there’s a reason for that feeling deep down inside tugging at you whenever you’re about to do or have finished doing whatever activity is holding you back from growing within your faith.             It’s so easy to do the wrong thing vs. the right thing. We live in times where we just love instant gratification and majority of the things that come easy and quickly are usually not all it’s crack up to be, go just as quick as it came and can leave you feeling empty every single time.             When you begin to find your faith, it’s impossible to still lead the life the way you did before. Once you fully accept God into your life, there is no way you’ll ever be the same again. Welcome the detox, embrace it and don’t be afraid to do what’s right for you during your journey to finding faith and living in it. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 3.     Trust Trusting is such a hard thing to do. And I’m going to keep it real with you when I say, during your journey, it’s going to be hard …

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Culture + Lifestyle

Treat Yo’Self Girl: 4 Mantles in Leading an Unapologetic Life

5 Mins read
August 11, 2016

Hey girl hey! This thing called life has its ups and its downs. We continue to go through many phases that shape us into the woman we are today and the beauty we will become later on down the road. With that being said, we\’ve been blessed with one life to live and it\’s vital for us to lead the life WE want, no matter what outside opinions may have to say. As women, we often put ourselves on the back burner for many reasons and for many people. Eventually, putting the most important person (that\’s you!) last has the potential to lead to many  issues, physically and mentally, such as high blood pressure, depression, insomnia, alcoholism, drug addiction, the list just goes on girl! Although we know that we should come first, we also do not know exactly how to go about living for ourselves. Let me be of service to you dear….let\’s get the list poppin\’! I present to you: THE 4 MANTLES IN LEADING AN UNAPOLOGETIC LIFE! 1. Validate Your Feelings \”Your feelings are valid\”. This is a common phrase my best friend for many years still tells me to this day. I have this issue that I\’ve been working on for a long time that has held me back in the past. I\’m someone that doesn\’t like confrontation. I have a bad habit of keeping my feelings bottled up in order to spare someone else\’s feelings when it comes to myfeelings. If you can relate, this is the most toxic thing you can do to yourself. If a friend, partner, family member or co-worker says or does something that REALLY makes you feel a certain way, let them know immediately. Do not overthink what his/her reaction will be once you let the issue be known, thus leading you to say to yourself \”forget it, it\’s stupid.\” WRONG! INCORRECT! GIRL HELL NO. No matter what you may feel about a certain issue at hand, don\’t convince yourself or let anyone make you feel as if your feelings are invalid. They are not. Although we choose how we react to different situations, we cannot control the way we feel. As soon as you let those emotions out, I assure you, you will feel much better. Keeping things bottled up is very unhealthy and can lead to moments where you finally let all that angst go when a minuscule problem happens. Then you\’re out here going ballistic and looking crazy because you never said something before. People are not mind readers and we often times think just because someone has known us for some time, that they should know what words/actions will press that emotional button, and that\’s not always true. Let it out girl.  Now,  if whomever you express your feelings to has an issue with you being a human being with real emotions causes another negative ordeal, that leads me to my next point…. 2. Stand Up For Yourself Disrespect coming from anyone is a no. There is no reason for anyone to disrespect you as a person for any reason. This point is very vital when it comes to being a woman. We often times are disrespected by our misogynistic male counterparts on a plethora of topics and although men should have it instilled in their minds to give respect to women, no matter how a woman dresses, carries herself, etc, unfortunately, some do not think that way and think it\’s okay to disregard our feelings when we feel disrespected. It\’s your job to stand up for yourself as a woman and as a human being. Like I said in the first mantle, if someone has an issue with you feeling some type of way about how THEY treated you, the next step is to stand firm behind those emotions and stand up for yourself. No matter what the outcome may be, when someone in your life disrespects you, male or female, DO. NOT. LET. IT. SLIDE. For your own good, stand up for yourself or your conscience will ride your back for quite some time. And if that person has an issue with you taking a stand, then do like Martin, open the door and kick em\’ out like Pam. Trust me, it\’s not as big of a loss as you may think. 3. Stop Apologizing Now, if you do something wrong, or offend someone, then you do need to apologize lol. What I\’m trying to say is, don\’t apologize for the way you lead your life, your feelings, your opinions, or who you are as a person just because others may feel uncomfortable. For a long time, I apologized to people for who I am, and that\’s considered insanity to me nowadays. I would even start my opinions with, \”Sorry, but…\” If you do the same thing, girl stop it. Have you ever noticed during a debate, a presidential one in particular, that candidates never start their views on certain topics with \”I\’m sorry but this is where I stand on…\”? No you have not. If we ever heard a potential president say \”sorry\” during a debate where he/she is supposed to stand FIRM in their beliefs, we would question their leadership. Would you vote for someone who apologizes a lot? I\’m someone that believes in old fashioned dating. Not sorry. I love basketball and football and always await each season as if Christmas is coming. Not sorry. I think purple is the best color in the world. Not sorry. I want to be well off in my career before I settle down. Not sorry. Some people may disagree with those points but guess what…I don\’t care. Don\’t let anyone try to force you into a box of how you should act, carry yourself or speak. You belong to you and you should never apologize for being you. 4. Do Whatever the F*ck You Want!  Too often, we hold ourselves back from doing what we really want to do in order to please others. Again, stop. Do …

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BEAUTY & STYLE

8 Black-Owned Cosmetic Brands You Should Know About

8 Mins read
June 20, 2016

As a brown beauty, sometimes it\’s quite difficult to find a cosmetic company that caters to our skin tone in all aspects of makeup, whether it be face, lip, eyes or all of the above. Alongside foundation matching being as hard as the SAT\’s when we go shopping for makeup online or in person, finding makeup that compliments our complexion in general has always been quite the task as well. As a makeup enthusiast, I\’ve come across these problems, but I discovered over time that there are much more cosmetic companies outside of the household name businesses we\’ve known all of our lives. These discovered companies provide products that are reasonably priced, have better or the same quality as big name companies and guess what…they\’re black owned and operated, keeping us brown girls in mind when they create their products! Look no more makeup lovers, I\’ve got the hidden gems: 9 Cosmetic Companies For Brown Beauties, By Brown Beauties! 1. Sacha Cosmetics Sacha Cosmetics is a family operated business that was founded 30 years ago in the beautiful island we know as Trinidad! SACHA COSMETICS was the official Cosmetics of the Miss Universe (1999-2001),  Miss Bahamas (2010) and Miss Jamaica (2005) pageants, and many other special events worldwide. YouTube is my obsession, so of course I discovered this brand when I watched my favorite beauty gurus, Irishcel507 and Jackie Aina, do a foundation routine, using Sacha Cosmetic\’s buttercup setting powder. After seeing how flash ready and brown girl friendly the setting powder was for these ladies\’ makeup, I knew I had to try some for myself, because finding a good setting powder that doesn\’t make us look ghostly in pictures is stressful. I was set out to try Ben Nye\’s banana powder before discovering Sacha, due to the fact that many other beauty gurus of color on YouTube swore by it. But as soon as I dabbed some of Sacha Cosmetic\’s setting powder on my T-zone, I was SOLD. Plus their $20.00 price point had already blown Ben Nye out of the ring for me. When you got something good, keep it! Sacha Cosmetics also has a wide variety of great products for the eyes, lips and face at a reasonable price. I have yet to see this company housed at Sephora, Ulta, or anywhere that sells cosmetics, but the internet is our friend, so you can purchase their products online. Learn more: http://www.sachacosmetics.com 2. Coloured Raine This one is a personal favorite of mine. Coloured Raine is a modern, fresh and unique cosmetic company for the everyday beauty that SLAYS! \”Founded in 2013 by Loraine, who longed for a cosmetic line that encouraged self-expression and diversity, these stand-out cosmetics break all beauty barriers. With long-lasting lip formulas in an array of unparalleled hues, Coloured Raine is renowned as the most beautiful and exotic makeup in the world.\”-Coloured Raine My Sephora friend once again was the one who introduced me to this brand. As we all have noticed, liquid lipsticks are the new wave and the regular, bullet lipsticks have taken a back seat in our makeup boxes. I had tried to hold on to my regular lippies for as long as I could, but always having lipstick on my teeth was becoming highly problematic for me. After finally caving in and purchasing liquid lippies from other cosmetic companies, my friend told me about Coloured Raine. There wasn\’t a lot of reviews or swatch videos when I took to YouTube to research this brand, but there was just enough for me to head over to their website and snag some colors. Fun Tip: Try the shades \”Roulette\” and \”Truffle Raine\”, they\’re to die for! Coloured Raine\’s shades are bold, dynamic and compliment every brown beauty, no matter how fair or deep her complexion is. Pair that with their awesome formula and you\’ve got a hit. Whether you\’re more of a neutral baby or risk-taking goddess, Coloured Raine offers many colors to fit your makeup persona. Coloured Raine also carries nail polishes, vibrant eyeshadow pots, lashes, and lip lacquers. Products can be purchases online but select Ricky\’s locations in New York carry this gorgeous brand as well. Locations can be found on the website under the Retailers tab. Learn  More: http://www.colouredraine.com 3. Juvia\’s Place Don\’t you dare sleep on Juvia\’s Place girl! This brand is a indie cosmetic company, where all products are made and packaged by hand. I stumbled upon this brand when I saw the popular twitter account, @BeautyByWOC, tweet pics of the very pigmented eyeshadows from The Nubian palette that Juvia\’s Place is receiving recognition for. I instantly fell in love with the gorgeous, neutral colors that The Nubian palette has. To my dismay, the palette was sold out at the moment I had tried to purchase it, but less than two weeks later, I got an email notifying me that it was back in stock…#delayedW! The Nubian palette consists of warm, neutral colors similar to the warm tones in the popular 35o palette by Morphe Brushes. The packaging is gorgeous and is currently on sale for a discounted price of $23.50. About a month following my purchase of The Nubian palette, Juvia\’s Place introduced the larger sized and more colorful palette, The Nubian 2. Being satisfied with the quality and pigmentation of The Nubian, I snagged The Nubian 2 for $28.99 online. Get into those shimmery shades though! Juvia\’s Place also carries makeup organizers, brushes, and lashes. Maybe in the future, we\’ll see some amazing lippies that match the Egyptian theme this company is rocking\’ with! Learn More: http://www.juviasplace.com/ Check out my YouTube review for both of these gorgeous palettes! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki0MYtdGSFw 4. Black Opal I never thought I\’d come across a cosmetic company that carries so many different shades of brown in liquid foundations, until I discovered Black Opal cosmetics. \”In 1994, three creative forces combined their passion for beauty and their joint knowledge of issues specific to skin of color to develop the groundbreaking brand known as Black Opal. The Muse, a professional woman of Jamaican descent, who …

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