BrownGirlBoss: How Fear Almost Stopped Me From Launching on Kickstarter

I’m the type of person that freaks out while waiting in line to ride a roller coaster. I legit think of everything that could go wrong and encounter multiple anxiety attacks. Once I’m on the roller coaster I have my eyes closed and I hold on for dear life! However, everything changes after the first drop, I open my eyes and throw my hands up in the air! I’m having the time of my life and afterwards I laugh at myself for all the time I wasted worrying.

Like my roller coaster experiences, I’ve learned in life that you have to feel the fear, and do it anyway.

But this has not always been my testimony. I remember working at various retail companies thinking this can’t be my life? See, I was floating around from job to job, searching for my purpose and it was not until God sat me down that I found it. 

I was moving around so much that I never took the time to stop and listen. God works in mysterious ways, during the hardest time of my life God revealed my purpose. During this time I was unexpectedly let go from my job, homeless and without transportation. I applied to more than 300 companies and went on multiple interviews but I was never hired. 

I remember crying out one evening asking God what my purpose in life was?

I laid still and he said "Purpose Planner". I had no idea what he meant and ended up going to sleep. That night I had a dream about my now stationery company called Purpose Planner! 

I worked tirelessly on the designs and months on finding a manufacturer.  Everything was running pretty smoothly until I got the manufacturing bill. I had no idea how I was going to raise $5,000 with no job. So I did what any millennial would do, I turned to google for more information and that’s how I learned about Kickstarter.

I remember my eyes beaming with joy as I read about other planner companies on Kickstarter having the same manufacturing issues. So I went to work and set up my first campaign on the platform. That campaign failed miserably because I was too scared to let people know about it. Every negative thought distracted me from believing the campaign could be funded.

"What will the black community think of me?"

"People probably won’t even like my product."

"No way I’m getting 100k like these other white owned planner companies."

"Will people think i’m begging?"

"Is this even what God wants me to do?"

All of those negative thoughts manifested and I lost my savings investing into Purpose Planner.  I remember trying to put the blame on others, but God ended that immediately! He showed me how I allowed fear to manifest through my thoughts, words and actions.

I evolved personally and professionally after that failed Kickstarter. I went back to the drawing board with prayer, affirmations and a support system motivating me every step of the way. So when it was time for me to launch my latest Kickstarter for my 2017 Purpose Planners I decided to feel the fear and do it anyway! 

I went into this Kickstarter with prayer and a plan! This time around I knew that fear was just a distraction.

"And distraction is destruction of your dream in slow motion."

My planner is the manifestation of what happens when purpose meets paper!