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For Black Women By Black Women
For Black Women By Black Women
MIND & BODY

Can I Get a Refill? 4 Tips to Restoring Your Energy

Tiffany Shelton
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3 Mins read
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We are nearing the end of the year, and like most Queens you have probably pushed yourself to reach your goals all year long. Even yet some of you may be keeping up an extraordinary pace whether it be as a working student, single mom, or hustling entrepreneur. I’ll be the first to commend your strength, but I will also share a sentiment you probably have already realized such a pace is not sustainable and burnout is inevitable.

Regardless of your route to burnout, you are in good company and don’t worry this article will give some helpful strategies to restore your energy and regain balance in your life.  As a therapist I take special care to renew my energy and soul daily to ensure I am the best therapist possible. However I too experience exhaustion and in addition to helping my clients that struggle with this, I have developed tools to help myself during these times as well. Here are some of my favorite strategies to refill my soul.

1. First, know the signs of burnout.
You can only change what you are aware of, so staying mindful of your own symptoms of burnout is key to reversing exhaustion. Some general signs of burnout include:

  • Irritability
  • Sleepiness throughout the work day
  • Lack of joy in things that usually bring you fulfillment
  • Restless nights
  • Disturbing dreams
  • Increased physical pain and soreness
  • Lack of motivation
  • Pessimism

As you can see, feeling depleted mirrors many symptoms of depression, and if gone unchecked they can easily spiral into depression. Therefore it is extremely important to confront feelings of exhaustion and deprivation when you notice these signs.

2. Give yourself (and loved ones) a pass.
After you are conscious that you are feeling depleted, it is important to stay mindful of your state of being. When you are feeling irritable, sad, or stressed acknowledge such feelings with compassion for yourself remembering your state of mind and not attributing so much power to your feelings. If we ignore such burnout, we can move through life judging and trying to change ourselves for something that is very temporary. Instead acknowledge your emotional state with love and kindness, and approach such states with a sense of detachment questioning how much of what you feel will go away once you are rejuvenated. This, in and of itself, will lessen the impact of your burnout and help you begin to shift your energy.

3. Take a self-care week (at least).
The worst thing you can do when you need rejuvenation is continue your life at the same pace and expect to feel renewed. And the weekend is simply not enough time to renew your mind, body, and spirit. I propose taking a week to only do what is ABSOLUTELY necessary. That means clearing your schedule of any extraneous tasks that can be pushed back to the next week or so. Take this extra time to replenish, only doing what your mind, body, and soul is craving. Here are some tips:

  • Get at least 9 hours of sleep for 7 nights (yes 9! Your body is depleted consistent sleep (with enough time for REM sleep) is the best thing you can do to replenish)
  • Wake up early (which means going to bed early to make sure you get those 9 hours) and do something you enjoy before work,
  • Practice some form of mindful movement (exercise, yoga, pilates)
  • Get present with your soul (meditate, pray, deep conversations with friends)

4. Fortify your self care plan.
After your week of deep restoration, re-evaluate your self-care plan and develop a schedule that works for you. After working to renew yourself, you want to make sure that you prevent future burnout the best you can.

Happy Renewing Queens! Have fun refilling your soul!

black girl health black girl magic increase energy restoring your energy
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5 Podcasts Every Brown Girl Boss Should Be Listening to

2 Mins read
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Forbes reported Black women as the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the United States! Black women own an estimated 1.3 million business, talk about #blackgirlmagic! If you have hopes and dreams of one day joining this group of women and starting your own company but you don’t know where to start you are not alone. I’ve always dreamed of owning my own business and one of the main things everyone says to do in the beginning is to find a great mentor. I didn’t necessarily have a mentor so I turned to podcast! I think of all of the podcasts below as a one-on-one mentoring session and I encourage all of my fellow brown #GirlBosses to do the same. 1. Hashtags & Stilletos It’s a combination of one-on-one real talks with powerful women about everything from career, building business, and personal ups and downs. Sakita tells you what you need to know about all things PR and business.  She’s given tips about how to retain business and how to network correctly.   2. HustleNRose This is perfect for the nontechnical #girlboss interested in building a technology start up company. Every episode gets to the nitty gritty practical steps of how people built their businesses. Episodes cover everything raising money, hiring, and managing teams.   3. Mattieologie This fashionista shares her journey of turning her blog into a full time job. This is my go to podcast for everything related to branding, blogging, and business. She shares all of her amazing productivity hacks and describes ways to create systems within your business. 4. MyTaughtYou One of my favorite podcast! I’m pretty sure I’ve listened to every episode. Myleik Teele, CEO/founder of CurlBox, answers all of our questions from relationships to business and the ins and outs of building a career. She is completely candid and honest about her experiences and what she has learned from every phase in her life. She is the perfect digital mentor, she’ll even answer your questions. 5. Side Hustle Pro Every Wednesday, Caila interviews influential women in our community who turned their side hustles into full fledge careers. She also offers practical advice from her experience as a digital strategist and takes us on her side hustle journey.

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5 Reasons Jesse Williams Acceptance Speech Gave Me Life and Why My Sons Needed to See It

6 Mins read
August 3, 2016

Like most of the world, I tuned into the 2016 BET awards on June 26th to see if they were going to make good on all the shade they had thrown regarding Madonna’s supposed to be Prince tribute earlier this year. I sat there waiting for all things Prince while trying to stay off of social media so that the people (my sister) that had already seen the show due to different time zones would not spoil it for me. I did see at one point someone online said that Jesse Williams was getting the Humanitarian Award. When that time came in the program, we sat and listened to him as he dedicated the award to the “ Real organizers all over the country.” What he said next was  a simple truth but a powerful line that struck a cord with me and let me know that this brother was getting ready to speak. He segways into discussing the issues that Black America faces by saying A system built to divide, impoverish and destroy us cannot stand if we do. One of the best quotes I have ever heard. Right up there with RFK’s “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” By the time the brother got to “gentrifying our genius”, my hand was in the air in full testimonial yelling  AMEN!!! I know that’s right!!! The speech was everything. One of the most constructive and productive uses of air time I have seen on that network in a while ( I’m not a big TV watcher) I watched it again when I got home and later shared with my boys who are 7 and 8. My oldest is a righteous thinker, deeply affected by what is just and what is not. My youngest, a self directed indigo child. They listened and a dialogue ensued. By the end of our conversation I knew that the speech opened a pocket of knowledge for them and reinforced some of the teachings I work to give them daily in five different ways… Firstly, 1. He honored his parents. He opened the speech by thanking his parents who he stated taught him what the schools “were afraid to teach.” and “comprehension over career.” This was a great discussion about understanding that knowledge is plentiful in places outside of the school house and that not all money is good money. That you can pick a career that gets you paid but if it is against your convictions or you simply have none at all, you have done yourself a disservice. It was also a testament to respect. I make it a point to stay on them about respecting the lengths I go to in order to keep a roof over their heads and food in their mouths. All in the effort to give them the foundation needed for them to become someone great. So in this moment I was able to say See! 2. He thanked his wife. After giving  respect to his parents, he then thanked his “amazing” wife for “changing his life.” I care deeply about making sure that my sons, who are future husbands and fathers, understand that who they choose as a partner is the greatest investment they will make. When a man puts away his ego and accepts that the right woman has the ability to help him achieve greatness, she should  be treated accordingly and cherished. He only said one sentence about her, but it was what he chose to say that basically sums it up. She is amazing to him and she changed his life. Although the boys are still young, marriage is a concept that they are curious about coming from a split household. We talk about it often. Every positive example is appreciated.  3. He called out the injustice in our justice system. I didn’t have to explain when he came to the part about the police managing not to kill white people everyday. My boys are aware of what is happening regarding that. When Mike Brown was gunned down my oldest sat next to me and watched as we awaited the decision regarding Darren Wilson’s indictment. I explained it to him and my then 7 year old said “I know why he shot him like that Mommy. He wanted to feel more powerful than him.The police officer just wanted to show his power.” Blew my mind. The boys are no strangers to the past and present injustice when it comes to being black. The depth of it is still something they are learning and trying to understand. I have found we have to talk about it in short sips and long swallows at times. Nevertheless, his point was clear. 4. He spoke eloquently and had them asking questions. I think most will agree that the speech was something like poetry. His vocabulary and intent regarding the subject matter was commanding and inspiring. He was saying what we (Black America) already know to be true. They knew that they were listening to something that was important. One of the best things we can illustrate to our children is the difference in passion over emotion. The emotion black people feel regarding white supremacy can be overwhelming, but we can choose to be super emotional about it or passionate about eradicating it. Passion is focused emotion put to work. I found myself telling them to find their passion and they too could be standing on a stage somewhere one day receiving an award. They asked why everyone had stood up while he spoke and wanted to know what he meant by “ trying us on like costumes.” 5. He owns his blackness regardless of his mixed race. My boys are black on my side and  Filipino/Native on their father’s side. I teach them about their black heritage and identity.They have a big family that reinforces who they are on …

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