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For Black Women By Black Women
For Black Women By Black Women
MIND & BODY

What Our Ancestors Can Teach Us About Healing

Leah Islar
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2 Mins read
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“To be present in our bodies as black women is one of the most revolutionary acts we can partake in. We agree to participate in a liberation of the soul, for the women before us and the young girls after.” 

Our ancestors have cultivated a beautiful legacy of healing that awaits us. It is our right as black women to participate in the same personal liberation of blackness as those before us. Something that our ancestors can teach us about healing is that it takes radical vulnerability to allow ourselves to be seen and heard for our truth. At times, these women faced persecution and death for choosing to fully exist and be recognized for their greatness. As we continue to heal as black women it is important to remember that the truth and unfolding of who we are is a revolution that takes us being brave enough to share our struggles with the world. 

Often times there is a misconception that the path toward healing is one of serenity and peaceful surroundings. But, our ancestors have taught us that the vision of healing is different with each generation. Healing is freedom songs, soul food, afros, and black is beautiful, megaphones, and street protests. While healing can also mean yoga, nature walks, and personal wellness. In the 1960’s my grandmother achieved healing by participating in radical forms of protests that many outsiders would consider violent. However, there is a certain vulnerability in the bravery to unapologetically share our stories with the world by any means necessary. It means that we are awakened to a sense of self love and acceptance that demands to be heard.

When we continue this legacy of healing, it is important to remind ourselves that we are participating in something greater than ourselves. We are rising with our sisters to continue cultivating our bloom for all women of color into the eternal. Each of us has our own unique path toward healing yet we are emerging from the same seed. 

When we remember that we are standing in the soil that our ancestors have cultivated for us we are healing. Every single step that we take, whether it be taking a moment to breathe, reflecting on the wisdom of those before us, nourishing our bodies, crying uncontrollable tears, or protesting on the front lines we are healing. Our ancestors healed by facing the truth of injustice and we must carry that same spirit of radical action toward our unique healing journey. 

With every step we take, we can choose to heal by engaging in activities that bring us closer to the feeling of being truly present and unapologetic in our existence. Every single moment is a moment to cultivate wholeness, a moment to remember that we are existing. There are so many ways that we can share our stories with the spirit of radical vulnerability. In whatever way we choose, we are rising.

Always remember, you are whole, you are blooming, your seed is rising!

black woman healing black women self help therapy for black women
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MIND & BODY

What’s the Big Deal? Therapy for Women of Color

2 Mins read
February 1, 2016

“Take care of your mind, after all it’s the only place you have to live in.” Don’t believe the hype! Therapy can be a great source of healing for all people, even us brown girls despite the stigma in our community. So you’ve made the decision to go to therapy! That’s amazing and congratulations for taking the first step in healing. But now you’re faced with the task of finding a therapist to work with. This doesn’t have to be daunting. Start with calling to interview therapists you are considering over the phone before committing and use these 3 tips to help find the best therapist for you. 1. Look for specialists. Save time when searching for a therapist by searching for a therapist that specializes in the specific issue you are seeking therapy for. All therapist are generally trained in most emotional and mental health issues, therefore finding one that specializes in what you are dealing with will not only save you time but guarantee that you get the best care. So when searching online or asking for referrals be sure to use keywords that relate to your problem. When interviewing therapists ask them about their specialty and make sure its a good fit for you. Furthermore interview your potential therapist about their cultural competence to make sure they are expertly qualified to treat women of color! 2. Don’t feel confined by your insurance network. It is a myth that going through your insurance plan is the only affordable way to attain therapy. Furthermore, insurance is not set up to foster the best therapy; it is designed to save the insurance companies money.  There are several highly qualified therapists that offer sliding scales to their customers, making therapy very affordable. Also therapists registered as psychological assistants, are able to charge significantly reduced fees while they are working towards their licensure, giving clients the opportunity to save big bucks while receiving quality therapy. When you go in for a consultation with a therapist, ask them if they offer a sliding scale and don’t hesitate to negotiate a fee that you feel is fair with therapists you interview. 3. Notice how you feel when talking with the therapist. One of key factors of success for therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. So follow your gut and take stock of your first impressions of each therapist you interview. It is important you feel comfortable with your new therapist and your first intuition is usually a good indicator of how you will relate with your therapist in the future. And if you are unsure about something you are sensing, I encourage you to ask the therapist questions to  better clarify any preconceived concerns. I hope this helps you begin this amazing journey, and HAPPY HEALING! Also if you are looking for a supplement to therapy read Tiffany’s blog about the Benefits of Meditation, to learn how to increase your happiness even further.

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MIND & BODY

How I Found Wholeness With(in) by Embracing My Pain

6 Mins read
August 2, 2018

“Embracing the seeds of pain rooted in being black, and woman connects us to our divine nature of wholeness not just within ourselves but in the world around us.” We have all experienced feeling powerless in our lives. As women of color this experience is coupled with the complex shame of being black. It isn’t until we embrace this shame that feelings of invisibility can transform into a beautiful sense of knowing. Knowing in our bodies that we are enough. That our pain is simply a pathway to discover the wholeness within our being. In my early twenties, I rediscovered the power of writing. At the time, I was searching for space to express my becoming. Transforming from a girl of color, to a woman of color and how this impacted my everyday reality. Little did I know at the time that these painful experiences along my journey would become lessons in letting go and finding joy in the everyday unfolding of life. I began to write a lot of poetry that discussed blackness, how this relates to the beauty of nature, and our relationship to spirit. A lot of these writings dealt with the reality of being black and how blackness is defined in society. I began to think about what it meant to be present in my body as a woman of color. How I would feel if I let go of every societal imposed limitation of never being enough. I always imagined that wholeness in a brown body was some conjured fantasy image on movie screens. There was always an underlying belief that, “someone like me can’t transform” or that “the only way that change is possible is by destroying parts of myself that I so desperately wanted to hide”. Admitting to myself that I didn’t feel love within my own skin was a painful yet beautiful journey that is still unfolding. Apart of this unfolding requires a deep surrender to our emotions as they reveal themselves to us. It is important to be there with whatever we are experiencing, be it shame, guilt, sadness, regret, tension, happiness, etc. In trying to deny or reject the hidden parts of ourselves, we only drift farther into feelings of shame. As such, we deny ourselves of our complex and beautiful nature. Through writing, I was able to work through feelings of shame that I carried with me throughout my life. The feelings of shame and guilt that I felt throughout my life challenged me to let go of the fear I felt about examining my blackness. I was so deeply afraid of falling in love with myself as a woman of color because it wasn’t what I saw around me. As women of color, so much of what we internalize influences who we are. There are so many stereotypes and labels that can limit the world from seeing the truth of our existence. If we embrace our power, we are seen as the aggressive black woman, if we are vulnerable then we are seen as weak and sacrificial. But, we have the power to re-claim our own existence by embracing the wholeness that rests within. Apart of accepting the many layers of who we are as black women is embracing all of the pain and fear that arises within us. When I first began to embrace my fear, it was very difficult. I felt so much anxiety about how others would stare at me. This was followed by a stream of worried thoughts, “is it because my hair is too big?”, “is it because I am black?”. Despite this anxiety filled monologue there was something inside of me that so desperately wanted to be heard, some soul force waiting to emerge from the depths of my heart. A wise woman, standing firmly rooted in her skin. She was there all along, whole, content, and beautiful. It wasn’t until I started tuning into my body that everything changed. I started asking myself, “how does my body react when I am in public?” Often, my shoulders were tense and I felt the stress of others stares lead me down a path of insecure thoughts. In turning in towards my body I learned to accept the present emotions and greet them with an open heart of acceptance. Simply being with them in observance and allowing them to pass. When I began to become more present with my body and process the emotions of shame that I felt within myself, I let go of fear and surrendered to my existence. I began to notice how suddenly my shoulders were more relaxed in public. There was more space for me to relax and become familiar with what it felt like to be present in my body as a woman of color. It felt amazing, I felt called to inspire other women of color to feel whole and content within their own skin. Something that I have learned is that along with such moments of peace, becoming, and feeling inspired, there are still moments of fear, chaos, pain and uncontrollable tears. The journey does not end with the awareness of being whole within our bodies, that is only the beginning. The understanding that we can heal and are healing, and the feeling of being rooted firmly in our existence is the path. That we are the embodiment of what it means to love ourselves as black women Is the unfolding of truth, of who we are. In sitting with ourselves, there are some practical tools we can rely on to discover the beautiful blooming of our hearts. One of the tools that has helped me is to sit down in a quiet space with a pen and paper and ask myself, what are some everyday activities that light my soul up with joy? What is one small action that I can take today to live my truth? The answers to these questions reveal someone far more powerful than you can ever imagine. Another way …

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