MIND & BODY

How I Overcame Negative Thinking and Walked into My Purpose

Ariana Jones
2 Comments
3 Mins read
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Featured Image Credit: PollyNor

Why I almost let the Devil win  “Don’t be upset when another accomplishes what God told you to do. Procrastination will have you jealous of the success that was meant for you”.

That beginning quote quickly got me together.

It’s been one too many months since I’ve written ANYTHING, since I’ve set time aside to disconnect from the world and articulate the words that God has given me. I guess the first problem I have with my calling to write is the fact that I don’t want to. It’s hard and its time consuming, but like anything you are called to do, it will eat at you. The second problem I have with it is, well…I don’t know exactly what capacity he wants me to write in. It’s funny because he will give you the vision and the destination but the journey is fuzzy. I see myself as this blogger, with all these connections and partnerships but the how? Why did you give me this vision with a clear destination, but without clear direction of how to get there?

I would see these success stories about how people followed the vision God gave them and that’s when I almost caved in… I was convinced God gave them all of the tools, and only gave me a couple or God showed them the whole movie and I only got a snippet. I almost let the devil win because I simply didn’t want to do the work and I didn’t know what to do with the tools he gave me.

But who am I to waste the calling he put on my life? A few of the thoughts that plagued my mind were “Will it even be worth it?”, “Who even needs to hear what I have to say? But then I remembered that when you’re called to do something great, fear and doubt suddenly attack. The devil is a liar.

When you grow up in church, things start to become routine, like my prayer life. I would just have these broad prayer requests that weren’t specific to what I was asking clarity on. So, the intentional praying begun. The first was to intentionally pray about my career. Did I want to continue to be miserable in finance or did I finally want to venture into educating and uplifting the youth of those that look like me? The second thing I prayed for was location. Maybe I was dragging my feet or felt uninspired because of the space I was in? Next thing I know; I’m flying to DC for an expedited interview where I will be teaching children in underserved areas.

So there were my answers. Laid out, clear and plain as day. I would make the transition to Washington, DC at the end of 2016 and go get everything he promised me.

2017 is here, I’m in a new city and it’s gotten victory written all over it. The year of no small thinking, stepping up to my call of action, moving with confidence, and no wasted moments. I finally know what it takes to just BE in a moment and not have all of the answers (it’s extremely hard for a control freak). Just having this awareness within me of feelings and time, and using those aspects of my life to fuel my writing. This is the perfect city to network, be inspired, and to light my own spark.

I think I’m right where he needs me to be so that his work can be done with the out-pour of my love for him. I guess I’m saying all of this just to remind my fellow brown girl bosses that it may not all makes sense and you may not have it all figured out at this very moment but be still and listen to the voice that has already set the blueprint for the upward motion of your life.

My steps are already ordered; I just have to start walking (well, writing).

 “Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work”.

We have the right to manifest whatever it is we want out of life, so choose it Queen.

-Ari

 

 

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Culture + Lifestyle

3 Aspects in Finding Your Faith

6 Mins read
August 29, 2016

Hey beauties! I suggest you cue some Kirk Franklin, because it’s about to get spiritual UP IN HERE! The past two years for me have been quite a transition with so many areas in life. Jobs, figuring out what I want to do and how to go about doing such, relationships, friendships…the list just goes on. But one thing I’ve haven’t touched on that is a big part of my life journey is my faith and how I found. Many of us have or are currently struggling with finding faith (if interested at all in doing so), keeping it and living it.             Your belief in a higher being is always tested, so I’m not going to lie to you and say the journey is smooth and once you find your faith, that everything will go your way, because that is the furthest from the truth.             So how do we find our faith in order to live as faithful beings? It’s not as complicated or lengthy list as many believe. Allow me to present to you… THE 3 ASPECTS IN FINDING YOUR FAITH 1.     Forgive & Seek Forgiveness So you’ve had a revelation and have decided to get closer or even get to know God, fantastic girl! The long yet beneficial spiritual journey requires us to strip ourselves from the person we were before seeking God. Forgiveness is a major key in finding and living your faith. Often times when this subject comes up, we think of forgiving others for wronging us, even if we don’t receive an apology, which is true but have you forgave yourself yet? It took me some time to practice this aspect, and I’m still doing such to this day. Just like God forgives us for our trespasses, we must also forgive ourselves and stop condemning the person we left behind in the past. Your future has no room for guilt my dear. Yes, those that may have known and have even gotten used to the old you and your old habits will have a ball bringing up the things you’ve done, but it’s not your job to feed into that.             There were many things I’ve done in previous years that I sometimes still feel ashamed of, but what I had to do was tell myself whole heartedly that the choices I’ve made doesn’t equate to me not deserving a blessed and prosperous life. When we know we’ve done a bad thing, we beat ourselves up for a very long time and that stunts our growth. In order to receive the blessings that were intended for you, you have to first believe that you deserve them and forgive yourself of the things you may have done long ago, or even last week! Are we clear?  It’s also important to seek forgiveness as well. Seek forgiveness from others you may have wronged. Whether you get an acceptance or not, just know that you stepped forward with a sincere apology. If someone doesn’t forgive you, they’re only hurting themselves. And but of course, seek forgiveness from God. That’s the easiest part because before you even confess, you are forgiven. However, what has worked for me was verbally asking for forgiveness, actually changing my behavior and praying for the strength to continue to forgive myself, forgive others and seek forgiveness when necessary. It might work for you too 😉 “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”- Colossians 1:13-14 2.     Detox Your Life (a.k.a shake the devil off) The devil is a lie chile. Anything or anyone that serves as a threat to keep you from your spiritual goals and blessings is toxic and you must detox your life from all the mess that isn’t helping you in the long run.             I’m sure we’ve all heard of or have tried those popular detox fitness teas, or have even done a homemade juice cleanse. When someone drinks those teas, or juices for a certain amount of time, the body begins to rid all of the bad stuff. This process usually results in frequent trips to the bathroom due to the fact that the ingredients being taken in are quickly ridding the toxic within. Detoxing your life operates the exact same way.             First things first, identify what or whom exactly it is that is not serving your spiritual life positively. Every problem needs to be identified then eliminated. For some, excess drinking of alcohol can be a catalyst for toxic behavior ending in horrible consequences.  For others, it could be their anger, judging others, putting up with people that don’t have their best interest at heart, self-doubt, smoking, high-risk sexual encounters, etc. Just know that there’s a reason for that feeling deep down inside tugging at you whenever you’re about to do or have finished doing whatever activity is holding you back from growing within your faith.             It’s so easy to do the wrong thing vs. the right thing. We live in times where we just love instant gratification and majority of the things that come easy and quickly are usually not all it’s crack up to be, go just as quick as it came and can leave you feeling empty every single time.             When you begin to find your faith, it’s impossible to still lead the life the way you did before. Once you fully accept God into your life, there is no way you’ll ever be the same again. Welcome the detox, embrace it and don’t be afraid to do what’s right for you during your journey to finding faith and living in it. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 3.     Trust Trusting is such a hard thing to do. And I’m going to keep it real with you when I say, during your journey, it’s going to be hard …

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MIND & BODY

4 Reasons Why I’m Leaving Home, AGAIN!

4 Mins read
August 25, 2016

Illustration By: Laci Jordan My mom sent me a meme and I thought it was the cutest little mom and daughter thing until it manifested into my heart. It said, “To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you, means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their own”. She knew after undergrad the plan was not for me to move home, but to try and find a job in DC so I could start my Graduate studies at Georgetown. IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. Feeling broken and weak like my wing had been clipped or injured, I took the easy way out and moved back to Seattle. I didn’t fight to stay, I didn’t fight for the relationship I was in, and I damn sure didn’t fight to discover who I was and what I wanted as a woman at that point in time. I got back to Seattle and got so complacent with my life that all the things I wanted to accomplish took a back seat and I begin to live life as if Seattle was my final destination. I mean to the point where I completely forgot about what the goals were, what the outlook was, and who I was in this world. I was forced to see myself naked, bare and raw. I remember being in that season, feeling how I felt, and looking at myself in the mirror thinking how disappointed I was in myself for even getting to that place. But that place I was in was needed. You ever get so low you talk to yourself like, “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”. It reminded me of the things I wanted, the goals I used to chase and why they were still on my heart. God let me move home because it was a part of my route to get to where I am supposed to be, it gave me the strength that I didn’t have, and in fact is A PART of my journey that walks me right into my divine destiny.   “The power just works for the purpose. You can only engage in the power when you engage in the purpose”. –My Pastor Girl, he was all in my business that Sunday, which is why, it hit all types of nerves. I wasn’t engaging in my purpose, therefore I wasn’t receiving my power because the things I was engaging in could have potentially disqualified me from living out the meaning of my life. So I started tapping back into my assignments, I started tapping back into what makes me happy, and that’s when I finally made my decision to go get MY STUFF back. All that clarity and visibility in that exact moment helped me see the growth and directed me back into that light I once saw. I’m going back to finish what I started, AND THEN SOME. You ready for it? 1.     I wasn’t raised to be complacent I absolutely hate the word: Complacent. Yuck. I know you’re supposed to be grateful for where you are in life and how far you’ve come, but when you know you’re supposed to be doing more than just sitting in a cube crunching numbers, sitting at that desk is hard. 2.     Momma ain’t raise no quitter Ya know, my Mom would be so disappointed if I said “Ma, I’m just going to stay”, because she is the reason I know I can accomplish whatever is on my heart. I’ve seen her hit rock bottom and flourish back into superwoman x2. She is my motivation to dream big and believe in my ability to change the way black women look at one another. Because of her I know I am more than able to go back and let my light shine, it just might burn somebodies edges. 3.     Fighting for my right to inspire, and change lives We need each other. WE NEED EACH OTHER. There’s no other way I can put it. Us, women of color are in a state of emergency and have been for a long time. We need to hear each other, to take up for one another and help each other up when we may not feel like getting up after a hard ass fall. Someone to cheer us on when we don’t think we can dust ourselves off and try again. (Thanks Aaliyah) Life is hard, and I want to celebrate the big victories as well as the small victories with those who aren’t afraid to just be exactly who they are in every raw moment. 4.     Cus’ I know I’m MAGIC I get it all the time. There’s a glow, or a light beaming from inside my 5’3 frame. That glow, and that light ain’t supposed to be compressed. My name is gold, as all of ours are and I’m going to make sure everyone knows it. I’m going to sprinkle this BLACK GIRL PIXIE DUST with whomever I come in contact with. No more holding back, no more hiding, no more running from my purpose because lets face it, I’ll forever be running from something that’s instilled in me and A’INT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! Our purpose is scary but it feels so good. I often laugh and be like I don’t know how you’re going to do this but I also know I didn’t write the blueprint. it’s up to us to take control, be proactive and turn our wheels in the right direction. They can’t confine us, they can’t tame us, and they can’t hold us. So girl, I’m going! I’m running straight to my purpose. Are you?
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